Three conditions of friendship
Those who have a real friend know it very well.
Aristotle spoke, many centuries ago, of three conditions for friendship to exist.
The first: to want the good of the other, to appreciate him for what he is in himself and to wish him to be happy, to triumph, to be fully realized.
This seems kind of simple, but it's not that easy. Aristotle put the example of wine: an affectionate of good wines can "love" a bottle, take care of it, keep it in the best place in the house. But, deep down, all your affection is explained for the simple reason that one day that bottle will give you great pleasure. I loved the bottle for what expected to get from it, not because it was worthy of selfless love.
In other words, there is no true love of friendship if it is founded on the interest ("you can help me") or just in the pursuit of selfish satisfaction ("you make me feel tickle in the belly...").
The second condition: that the other wants my good, love me as I love him.
Here things get more difficult because it is possible that I love another, but the other does not have almost the least interest in me. It is something that happens many times in the world of Lovers: Francisco loves Isabel passionately, but Isabel feels like a light pole every time she finds or looks at Francisco. True friendship cannot be unidirectional: it has to go from one side to the other, and vice versa.
The third condition may seem trivial: that there is knowledge of mutual affection, that one knows by the two parts that there is love.
Because it happens, not only in novels or movies, that a boy loves a girl, that this girl loves also the boy, and, however, for a long time does not say a word: they lack the value to take the first step that allows building the bridge over which the current of love can pass discovered and corresponded.
Three simple conditions can lead to wonder: do we have many real, deep, unconditional friends?
Let's listen to Aristotle again. For him, it is not true friendship based on pleasure, nor is it that which is built on utility.
Because, and you do not have to be philosophers to realize it, pleasure changes as the wind change: today I have pleasure one person and tomorrow another. That's why so many marriages and so many friendships of artifice fail.
Nor is there true friendship in alliances seeking mutual benefit. In this case, there would only be a union of efforts as long as they serve for mutual interests. Achieved the goal, it breaks the motive of the apparent friendship, which was but an alliance of selfishness. Then, everyone goes their way, unless it has been discovered in the other part (in the "partner") something new: Not only can you help me in a job or business, but it is good, that it is worth loving for yourself.
The true love consists, therefore, in going deep, to the center of the other. you have to know how to respect it with its shortcomings and qualities, to appreciate it for what it is, although the years have changed the hair, the skin, or the silhouette of the husband or wife...
The path to achieving the true friendship that we would all like is difficult and arduous. It starts when you stop being the center of your life and start to turn around the other. When one, as Aristotle repeated, becomes "virtuous", well, disinterested, capable of leaving selfishness or greed to win and be more thanks to love.
The program is hard, but it's worth it. Those who have a real friend know it very well. Maybe they are not many, but they can be many more than we imagined. It is enough that every day we stop thinking about our well-being, in the short-term interests, to begin to give, to love, and to let love. The rest depends on time and fidelity, which is the crown of love.