What does God promise me?
Without anguish or fear, God has a plan for each one.

Author: Staff | Source:

Many people have their loneliness painful. But the Lord leaves no loose fringes. "God has a plan for everyone", and "We can all live a fruitful life", says P. Juan de Dios Larrú, dean of the Spanish section of the John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and family:

Can God call some to remain single?

There is a vocation to love. We're all called to love. Obviously, this vocation to love is declined for each one in a specific modality: marriage or virginity. Strictly speaking, there is no vocation to singleness.

However, there are people who, by circumstances of life, can become single. Then we can ask ourselves: Can the vocation to love to be made at this juncture? I think so, of course. There are many ways to live life that allow those people to realize their vocation. Because God has a plan for everyone; No one is here by chance, and the call to love is at the root of our existence. Our whole life is a love story between God and us; This is also good for singles. We are all children, so the filial experience is our first and foremost vocation. Singles can live this call to love from their filiation.

But a lot of guys would want to marry and form a family...

It is clear that the desire for communion is universal. Benedict XVI said that every man has the desire for a house, a home. The Synod itself speaks of a family desire. What happen? This desire must be concretized. Today we are experiencing a great crisis of promise and temporality. Young people find great difficulty in entering into relationships, in strong and stable bonds. It is not enough to project oneself in people or in ideal relationships; we must demystify the figure of the prince charming: it does not exist, there are specific people, with qualities and defects. Do not idealize anyone, but learn to promise.

What can you say to a person who suffers from being single?

The first thing I would say is that they are already living their filial vocation. It is understandable the suffering of those who see how the years go by and do not concretize the betrothal promise of their vocation. God promises to each one a full love, to which we gradually respond, without anguish or fear.

This plan is not pre-set since the beginning of time, so that it is fulfilled yes or yes. No, God loves us first, and in the plot of life he will interweaving that answer, in dialogue with the Lord and with others. That is why we must be attentive, to recognize their presence in human mediations and to realize the promise of love forever.

On this subject of vocation there are two dangers: the first is to interpret love as an intense emotional attraction towards another person and the second is to understand vocation as a trade, a function that God entrusts to us and that we must fulfil.

Can they, in any case, have a fertile life?

Yes of course. The original human experience that God has called us is to be children. She aspires to be husbands and parents.

Fertility is the overabundance of a full love, and they can also live this fulfillment. True love is always fruitful. A single person can take care of their parents, grandparents, nephews..., or assist in the catechesis of the parish, or in an NGO as a volunteer, to be a great professional... This way you can fully live the filial love and have a very concrete fertile life. Marriages discover that there is also a mysterious fertility in continence; priests in celibacy, religious in virginity. Fecundity has its origin in the Holy Spirit and finds in the painful mystery of the cross and in the glorious resurrection its first source.

What can the church do?

It is very convenient to promote meetings with specific people. You can't say: I have a vocation to marriage, but I haven't found the right person yet. That person is not a minor detail, but is the essence of the vocation to love: Who am I going to deliver? In this sense, there is a good job to do with young people in the so-called next preparation, also promoting real encounters between them. It is a beautiful opportunity within the church, to integrate youth ministry with marriage and family pastoral.

And how can marriages help?

The spouses are, above all, witnesses of a great and beautiful love: the love of Christ to his church. The marriages that live on the love they receive from God and communicate it become a living and credible testimony. That has a great power of attraction. That testimony is very important so that others can go their own career path, so they can say: I want to live like this.

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