How to get along with your political family?

We give you some tips to improve your relationship with the political family

 

By: Lucía Legorreta de Cervantes |

 

 

When a person decides to share his life as a couple, he does not only do it with the loved one. Like it or not, the relationship will also include the political family.

 

Living with these relatives is inevitable and, to a large extent, the good or bad relationship with them will determine the couple's direction. This includes dealing with in-laws, mother-in-law, brothers-in-law and even uncles and aunts.

 

Sometimes these family members can contribute to ending a relationship in their effort to consolidate it, but with the wrong methods.

 

Establishing, for example, those famous traditional meetings "at my parents' house", as if they were an inescapable obligation, is quite serious and threatens the flexibility and spontaneity of the couple's relationship. But, above all, it threatens the possibility of building a unique and non-transferable mode of communication that serves a couple and nothing else. Tensions begin, because the daughter or political child feels obligated, rather than inclined to go and, therefore, is not happy.

 

Other practices that lead to secure conflicts are:

 

• To ask for a money loan.

• Demonstrate to the in-laws' lack of support from the couple ("he or she does not understand or support me").

• When the in-laws try to solve the conflicts of the couple.

• In the couple, compare the wife with the mother.

• Delegate to the in-laws the role of educators of the children (it is something that is happening a lot in Mexico).

• I share with you some rules that can help you:

• He loves your in-laws, but remember they are not your parents. Do not use them as confidants speaking ill of your husband or wife, or call them to complain, cry or complain when he or she misbehaves. It is not a little boy or girl.

• Be careful with them and always try to remember birthdays and important dates to congratulate them or have some good detail.

• If your partner is away from them, encourage their reconciliation or approach.

• Do not walk with gossip; Discretion is a virtue that you must not forget.

• Do not accuse your mother-in-law with your husband or your wife. If you have any difference with it, it is better to clarify it diplomatically.

• Eat when you go to their house. It is not about being servile or humiliating, but help and support in simple tasks such as pick up the dishes, wash some fret or set the table.

• If you have children, never speak ill of their paternal or maternal grandparents.

• Never fight or disrespect your mother-in-law or father-in-law. Remember that it is your spouse's mother or father who also loves them. If the relationship is unbearable, before losing the style, better go away.

• The differences between your spouse and you are only up to you, do not make scenes in front of family members.

 

The father, the mother and the brothers of the couple are never going to stop being, and as such, it is necessary to assume it. The reality in our country shows that one of the main reasons for psychological consultation is precisely the couple conflicts and one aspect that causes it is a bad relationship with the family members.

 

The "study on the origin of conflicts in the political family" conducted in 2011 by the Institute of Research in Clinical and Social Psychology showed that in the case of women the most conflictive relationship is not, as you might think, with the mother-in-law. , but with the brothers-in-law. In contrast, in males the most problematic interaction is with the mother-in-law, followed by her political father.

 

We must accept this reality, having a healthy relationship with them is synonymous with emotional health, which will surely strengthen life as a couple.

 

The appropriate roles would be the following:

 

• That the in-laws respect the space of the couple.

• Show economic and emotional independence.

• Have a satisfactory affective life.

• That the in-laws respect the couple's decisions and solve their conflicts alone.

• That the couple assumes their role as parents taking care of their children.

 

Remember: When you marry someone, you also do it with the family. For the sake of your marriage and your children, seek to unite and not separate, and I'm sure they will live more calm and happy.