Laura Peraita, in the newspaper ABC, consults Victor Arufe, professor of the Faculty of Education of the University of La Coruña, about the complaints of children who tell their parents that "my friends do let them do such a thing".

"Children, by age, have the right to demand whatever they want because they are not aware of the long-term effects on their development. But parents are also entitled to say no, precisely to educate them in values ​​such as responsibility, waiting, frustration, and boredom” The problem is that for convenience, most of the time, parents give in. They are too busy with work and there is less patience when it comes to putting up with tantrums, explains Victor Arufe.

This teacher can point to a series of sentences that some children say referring to set limits comparing it with those of their friends, who almost lack those rules. Arufe believes that they are " parents in danger of extinction "and not influenced by fads in the field of education.

 

1. All my friends have more and better consoles than me

The teacher explains that if parents listen to this often it is because they worry that their child is not in this world just to play dozens of video games and have different consoles. One or two can be more than enough.

«One for home and a laptop, to take on a trip; With this, the basic needs (if you can call it that) of the leisure time destined for video games are already covered. If they get used to having all the new ones coming out, parents will be big customers of these videogame brands, but they will not be good educators ».

 

2. The parents of my friends let them watch "reality shows” and other television programs at night

"I’m aware that these parents hurt many of you. Breathe and count to 10 each time you hear this from your child. Then, ask him what could contribute to his personal growth to see those programs”.

 

3. I want a dog like the neighbor's and you never want to buy it

When this moment arrives, Arufe advises to ask the child if he will be responsible for downloading it every day, washing it, cleaning up what is dirty at home, putting food and drink daily, taking it to the vet, etc. "If he still says yes, then one day you take him to the nearest shelter and there you ask about the dog that best suits your home."

 

4. I do not understand why I have to do so much sport

This phrase is a good sign because "there are many easy-going children who do not like to make an effort. Sport is a great means to work the values ​​of effort, resilience, sacrifice, perseverance ... Values ​​that will be necessary in the adult world. To be carried away by what a sedentary child wants is to create the bases of a person condemned to a sedentary lifestyle. Since childhood, he explains, we must establish a habit towards sports, and be aware that children may not like them at first. Of course, do not enroll them into too many sports », he warns.

 

5. I never buy branded clothes

"And how happy we are when suddenly one day you buy a Nike sweatshirt!" Victor Arufe points out. The important thing is to have clothes, the brand is the least important.

"We must tell them that brands do not always offer quality and that, even if they buy, twenty other children may wear the same garment. Teach them to value if it feels good, if they like the touch of that garment, the colors, if he or she saves by not buying a brand name garment that is more expensive, etc.”

 

6. My friends go to a fast food restaurant one or several times a week and we almost never go

"How bad are the parents who almost never go to fast food restaurants and worry about giving their children the best nutrition based on broths and well-prepared meals with ingredients as natural as possible," the professor says ironically.

"I am sure that when you go to a hamburger or other fast food restaurant you will enjoy it much more than the child who goes three times a week. These are the things that will thank you when you are an adult”

 

7. All my friends have a mobile phone except me

It can also tell you that all friends have better mobiles than him. «If you have a cell phone, you will have to learn to use it, manage it, make it see the expense it entails for your parents, take care of it, use it at certain times of day, do not send or share things that may be related to negative values , bullying, etc. In short, you will have to use it thoroughly so that it is not a child or adolescent whose parents have given the mobile the function of his tutoring and accompaniment in life. If you do not have a cell phone, invite them to tell you five important reasons to buy it. I'm afraid they will not reach five, "he confesses.

 

8. All my friends have Instagram

In this matter, Arufe is blunt. "It is amazing how many parents agree that their minor children are hooked to different social networks only with the aim of sharing photos of their body or body aesthetics, full of filters and distorting reality. The world does not need beautiful bodies, it needs wise minds! "

 

9. All my friends go to bed at the time they want

Children should have schedules and sleep is within that schedule. The teacher recommends establishing two types of time to put them to bed: the daily adapted to the school schedule and the weekend. The important thing is to rest the hours recommended by experts in pediatrics and sleep. There are children who are very sleepy at school and are not able to pay attention or follow the teacher's explanation, which can lead to school failure.

 

10. All my friends are given more money than me

An old Chinese proverb says: «Give a fish to a man and you will give him food for a day, teach him to fish and you will feed him for the rest of his life». «Accustomed children to receive large payments without hardly making an effort to get them is to create an obligation that you do not have to have. As you advance in age -explains Arufe- you will be asked for more and more amounts, and there will come a time, at age 16, which will ask you for 50 euros per week, which you will not be able to access. There will begin a difficult family conflict to resolve.”