7 Jokes with Priests in Between: There are Another 100 Jokes in the Book, with the Grace of God
Author: Staff | Source: Catholic.net
The church, the parish, the sermons or the catechesis don't have to be funny. But they don't have to be boring either. Yes, they're supposed to help. That mandate of St. Paul in the Bible (in his letters to the Philippians and the Thessalonians) that says: "Be always joyful". And humor, a spiritual characteristic that God gave to men, and not to animals, can help.
Humor, laughter, relax the brain, can help capture attention, care for and understand more and better, to generate community and avoid tedium. The classical speakers and the best preachers and schoolteachers know this: to capture the attention of the listener, and his benevolence, nothing better than starting with a funny anecdote, or a joke. And with honey you can say hard, serious things that are accepted better.
A tool that can help anyone-and have fun at all-is the new booklet "100 jokes With grace of God", Selected by José Luis Rubio. It’s about parishioners, about Jesus and the apostles, about children of catechesis, about atheists and devotees. Not everyone is good for all audiences but none of them are blasphemous.
If our pastor or catechist is very boring, maybe we can give him this book and ask him to use the jokes in his lectures or sermons. The book has a wish: "I hope they can be many times May we say the same as Sara said, Abraham's wife: God has made me laugh (Genesis 21.6) ".
As an example, we reproduce here 7 of those 100 jokes. We've chosen seven to include a priest.
1. The curate and the Mountebank
A priest is in the confessional and a penitent goes.
-You're not from this parish, are you? I haven't seen you before.
-No, Father, I'm a circus artist who just arrived.
-And what do you do in the circus?
-I am mountebank.
-And what is that?
-Wait for a demonstration.
The man stands up and starts to give somersaults, somersaults and prancing above the banks of the church.
Two grannies waiting to confess they see it and one says:
-Better come back when the other priest comes, that this puts very difficult penances!
2. The Boring homily
The priest's homily was long and dull and one of the parishioners fell asleep and began to snore.
The priest, angry, is addressing a woman who was at his side.
-Excuse me, daughter, would you wake up the man you have next to you?
"Ah, no, father, do not put me in your troubles," she said. -You have made him sleep; you wake him up.
3. The Atheist mayor
A priest and a mayor were very friendly, although the mayor was very atheist and sometimes argued about God or miracles.
One day they both went fishing in the lake with a rowboat. When they were in the middle of the lake, the oars fell by mistake and were floating several meters from the boat.
The priest took out a medal that wore to his neck, made a little prayer, kissed her... And coming out of the boat was walking on the water, took the oars and returned with them to the boat.
When the mayor's wife came home, she asked how the day was.
-All right, by the way, can you believe the priest doesn't know how to swim? The mayor said.
4. The priest who fell asleep
The sacristan is worried because it’s time for mass and the priest does not appear, so he goes to look for him at home. There is the priest, haggard.
- My God, I was sleeping, I spent bad night and I have not heard the alarm - says the priest to the sacristan. - Go to the parish, pray the rosary with the people to make time while I dress and come.
The sacristan returns to the parish and organizes a rosary, without realizing that the priest, very sleepy, falls asleep again.
After two hours, the priest wakes up, checks the clock, and runs off and embarrassed to the church, convinced that there will be no one waiting.
But as he approaches, he hears that people keep praying the rosary. He approaches discreetly, surprised, and hears the voice of the sacristan:
-Mystery One hundred fifty: the Magdalena marries the of Cyrene...
A priest is found in the town square a young man whose family he knows.
-How is it that you never come for mass?
-Well the truth, Father, is that it is full of people who are genuine hypocrites.
-Well, that's why don't worry, son, there's always room for one more!
6. The Thief confesses
A thief is going to confess to the parish and approaching the confessional sees that the priest has fallen asleep inside. In that it sees that it has a beautiful watch on the wrist and without being able to resist it removes it very carefully. Then gently wakes him up:
-Father, I have come to confess... I happen to have stolen a watch. Do you want it?
-Me? Not at all. You must return it to its owner.
-But he said he doesn't want it.
Well, in that case, keep it.
7. With Hermeneutics and homiletics
A newly ordained priest, a great theology student, is sent as a parson to a mountain village of very simple people. The neighbors organize an act to greet him and he addresses a few words.
-Brethren, I am here for all of you. I come with my hermeneutics, my homiletics, with exegesis and apologetics.
"Don't worry, father," says a parishioner. -I am with arthritis, diabetes, conjunctivitis and rheumatoid arthritis, but the village doctor is magnificent.