Are you looking for a Christian partner on the Internet?
9 tips for using online dating sites effectively.
 
Christian marriage is very demanding, Christian dating also, in several countries young Christians (especially males) are scarce and at certain ages is difficult to find a partner to take on this radical way of life.
If a Christian is clear that wants to marry another Christian, can look for an orange where there are Christians: in parishes, associations, movements, pilgrimages... But if you don't find them in those areas, it may be good if you go to the online dating sites, and specifically to Christian or Catholic sites.
A study of 2010 quoted in the book "Love in the Time of Algorithms", by Daniel Slater, says that in the U.S. 20% of "committed relationships" start on the Internet. In other countries it may be different, but it has been five years since the study and the network has grown a lot.
The advantage and disadvantage of dating sites for Christian singles are that they attract people who want to get married in the short or medium term, not people who want indefinite and unfinished dating.
One disadvantage is that together with wonderful and mature people, in online dating sites you can find very rare, emotionally damaging or directly predatory sexual or emotional people: they go there looking for vulnerable victims.
That's why online dating sites give a series of safety tips, and Christian sites also add basic spiritual tips. We review some of the most common.

1-Pray: Consult with God
Maybe God doesn't want you to marry and he's calling you to another vocation. Some people go to online dating sites looking for a couple like Jonah was looking for a boat to Tarsis, fleeing from what God asks. That is not wise and will end badly. Praying also serves throughout the process, to guide you in dealing with people online, selection of profiles, etc.
 
2. Explore before Internet
Before you go to the Internet the wisest thing is to find a partner in nearby environments (parochial, associative, brethren, etc...) not digital, neighborhood or city. In principle, it is advantageous for a future courtship to develop in a geographically close and well-known area. The Internet is the resource for when this possibility has already demonstrated by way of practice little efficiency.
 
3. Your profile: smile in the photo
It seems silly, but many people upload inappropriate photos to your profile on the Web dating. The photo is 80% of what is interested in the first impression that you are looking for a partner. The key is smiling. Hardly anyone is physically so attractive as to make people like them if they don't smile. And hardly anyone is so ungraceful as to make your smile harm you (if you have bad teeth smiles with your mouth closed). Even the most gloomy, serious and penitent Catholic will want to meet a girl who does not smile in the picture.
There are other possible errors in the photos: Use photos of beach and swimsuit (which are very rare consulted in winter), dress rare (cover or uncover too), bad lighting, bad framing, lying with Photoshop and photographic retouching, etc...
 
4. Your profile: be you, but do not give your data 
Read your perfect strangers, some very rare. Say your city, neighborhood or shire, but not your street or floor. Use a pseudonym or just your name without surnames. Explain your hobbies, but not specify the associations or clubs you frequent, especially if they are small (you can say that you are a member of Barça or Real Madrid, is not dangerous and perhaps will attract or remove the right people).
I know you: do not tell lies, not presumed studies, hobbies or interests that you do not have. It's better not to marry than to build false relationships on sand.
Be honest in explaining what you are looking for, but don't undress your soul by telling your past wounds on the Internet. Do not post your Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, phone, postcard... accounts. If a possible couple asks you for an e-mail, create one only for this type of contacts, one that you do not mind losing. If someone wants to send you a physical gift and asks for a postal address, reject them. Physical gifts are to be delivered to people who know each other.
 
5. When paying: best prepaid cards; beware of the "free"
Not all online sites allow it, but it is better to use prepaid cards to hire online payment sites that may be doubtful and difficult to cancel.
There are also free online sites, full of advertising apps for your mobile... and links to rare and dangerous sites. Do not download or press "downloading" anywhere you do not know what you do.
 
6. Your attitude on the dating site: be proactive and positive
If your profile seems abandoned and does not participate much in the dating site, you will likely pass unnoticed and appear to be an outdated or false profile. One has to see behind a person excited and exciting: you. It is good that you participate in chats, competitions, meetings, etc... of the site.
Have a positive, hopeful, optimistic attitude, and you will attract people, which is what you want. As we also seek a Christian partner, show that you have faith, hope, and charity, three fruits of the Holy Spirit.
 
7. Before sending a message to someone... read your profile well! And think about what you say.
We have already said that 80% of what draws attention is the photo... Some people see a picture they like and then send a message to contact. That is a mistake: you have to read the profile, know the hobbies and interests, what the person expresses, and in the message to contact her to prove that it has been read. The contact message cannot be just: "Hello, shall we talk?" People distrust those messages from a line, and for good reasons.
On the other hand, a good message shows that the profile has been read and that it has aroused interest. For example, this is a good first message: "Hello, Jose; I'm Alicia; I've seen in your profile that you like Western movies. Me too. But dating only old classics. What do you think of the most modern movies?" Such a message shows that it is true that they have a common interest.
 
8.The first date: it's to see who you already know!
The step of meeting with a person contacted in this web of appointments should be given when you know a lot about the person. You know their hobbies, their age (even if it is approximate), has answered many questions without any evasiveness, has also shown a reasonable interest for you.
Asking a lot of questions before you stay is good and necessary. If it is a site for Christians seeking Christian partners, you should have been able to talk about their faith and their devotions and their Christian formation.
When you meet this person, do not give him a cell phone or contact number: agree on a site, time and manner of recognizing yourself. Make it a public place and with people, from which it is easy to enter and leave and be seen. Tell someone you trust where you are going and what time you expect to return. Make sure you can get there and leave the place on your own. Do not admit that the other person will take you to your vehicle. Also, do not take it to him: there are those who later blackmail threaten allegations of harassment or abuse unless he is paid. Make sure that the conditions of the appointment allow you to disappear without leaving a trace on the radar of that person if you wish.
 
9. Beware of those who ask for money.
If you contact someone (via the dating website or stay) that asks you for money with any excuse ("It is for an NGO with which I collaborate and so I see if you are generous") you can suspect that it is not clean wheat, it can be a swindler or a hustler. Another common scam is that you get a strangely long phone number or with rare prefixes: it can be a pay number, and every time you call, they charge you a bundle. Avoid.
No discouragement!
All these tips seem to make the search for a couple online something very complicated, but the truth is that in a few evenings can be reviewed and contacted many more people "marriage" that in years of confidence in the mere chance.
And both on the Internet and offline, you can also go to the traditional intercession of Santos "couple seekers", such as San Antonio de Padua or Santa Ana. As the gospel says, "Ask and you will be given."

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