Attention to Conflicts!
Author: Michael Ryan Grace | Source: Catholic.net
When they speak the spouses of their marital difficulties it is very common to hear an expression like this: "What caused the crisis was a real nonsense". To measure that expose their difficulties with more detail, one can appreciate how, in the majority of cases, are effectively "nonsense", and things "typical".
However are worried because they feel that that nonsense is doing them harm or, in more serious cases, destroying the relationship. Perhaps fail to know why. Let us look at a few cases
• He leaves me to one side when you talk with other people and this makes me feel very little necessary. I do not comment on its intentions due, perhaps, to the little interest that I demonstrated in their tastes.
• I am a person that I play a lot of sport. Last Sunday I played the semifinal of the championship. My wife informed me two days before that her nephew was going to do the first communion. The glass is poured out when I told him that it would not attend because...
• My wife did not asked my opinion on a piece of furniture that was going to buy even though I knew I was concerned about payments that we had to do. When I found out, I was so furious because I believe that expresses immaturity and irresponsibility.
It can be said that it is not a question here of major problems. In addition, some conflicts in life are inevitable in terms that marriage is the coexistence of two very different people among themselves by their education, history and sensitivity. The secret of a good marriage is knowing how to resolve well the conflicts that arise - whether they are serious or no. Love is not something done forever. It is necessary to create every day and a large sample is this to be attentive to what happens within the other person. Have ears not only for the words that they say, but for the feelings that are behind. What is important, in this first step, is not the wonder who is right.
This attitude of attention to the feelings and emotional states is an essential part of love and it is easy to see why. Love seeks to make happy to another and a part of this happiness is the make you feel understood and accepted in her whole being in its way of thinking and acting, in their sensitivity and their tastes. People are (US) realities very complicated, a strange combination of body and spirit, poverty and grandeur. We need a lot of understanding.
This does not mean that we should make efforts to go beyond tastes and sensitivities; but this will be discussed in the second part. Now I invite you to simply look at this world of feelings and accept the fact that not always behave according to "logic".
• The last drop that shed was when I was very upset because I had a very difficult day with children and he, instead of helping me or understand, was furious and above scolded me because he said that enough had with the job to have more problems at home.
• Raised a serious difficulty between us that my partner had accepted by your account with a social commitment that overlapped with another commitment that we have already made in advance and involving our two families.
• It hurts me to the fact that he does not call me by phone when it is too late and I do not know where is
• Usually cause an explosion, in our marriage, the intervention of my political family in something that we do not agree. It is sufficient that come there to spill the beaker.
What marriage does not find cases such as these? These are situations that embody the typical complications of human life in which the feelings come into play and, sometimes, in shock. Now think in your own relationship and see if you manage to grasp and accept the feelings of your partner. Look how you react to your words, your actions and your omissions. Look objectively, above your good intentions.