Boring Marriage? 4 Keys to Change It
Author: LaFamilia.info | Source: LaFamilia.info
While the list of causes that lead to the conjugal ruptures are varied, is now observes that boredom is wreaking havoc in marriages, causing the common project is becoming less durable.
Although the boredom in the marriage is not exclusive to the modern times, yes there is a variation with respect to the form of address, which is precisely the "not tackle" and "yes to avoid". Thinking that might have explanation when we live in a civilization that insists on the maximum enjoyment at the expense of anything, motivating couples to focus their expectations in the immediacy; hence when just disappears the charm of the beginning, put their hands on of the first solution: the divorce.
The boredom in the human being
The boredom is a negative emotional state that relates to the apathy, dissatisfaction and the lack of interest. We can say that it is also a personal attitude determined by the poverty of initiatives to emerge from a situation of routine. Also, the boredom clouds the prospects for the future, causing a fearsome disinterest in the plans to the persons and/or in life as such.
Anibal Caves, recognized counselor family and writer, says: "The question of boredom has a lot to do with the lack of illusion and the forgetfulness of the details. They normally arrive to the boredom who have lost the ability to wonder and illusion through lack of practice".
In the same way, Viktor Frankl, Austrian Neurologist and Psychiatrist, exposes: "Boredom, one symptom of existential emptiness, has become the collective disease of western culture".
But the boredom can be avoided. We return to the famous golden rule: these threats will cause more or less havoc in function of the attitude with which each person the opposite.
The boredom in the marriage is the root of other evils that afflict it. "happens many times that, without words, establishes a kind of agreement to live monotonously together the rest of their lives, that promise of an encouraging life project, it seems more a conviction; one of the two, or both, seek out the novelty, the stimuli that they return illusions and the desire to live. You do not have to be a lover. It is sometimes work, others will be new friendships not shared with the couple; new or old individual hobbies, hobbies or addictions. It is as if you experience that the authentic life, at least the more stimulating, is outside the pair" explained from the portal Apoyomatrimonial.com.
For obvious reasons, will reach a point at which the boredom is no longer bear more and without the need of having produced an extreme circumstance, the relationship will be dissolved. That is why it is so important to avoid boredom before it arrives. Although if you have already arrived, you can also leave it.
4 Keys to combat boredom in the marriage
1. Return to be boyfriends
Let us pause to consider what is the behavior of a man and a woman who is newly know and are starting a relationship: share some hobbies, put special care of their physical appearance, the manners, to the way they express themselves before the other, in addition are attentive between Yes, perform different plans, laugh longer than discussed, communicate; in order, conquer from day to day in the minutiae. Return to be boyfriends is an effective way to combat boredom spousal.
2. Renew the marriage
There is no doubt that it is necessary to renew the marriage. And this renewal includes the romanticism and the care of the little details, aspects that receive so much attention in the beginning of the relationship.
3. Knowing how to change together
We will not remain 20 years for always, everything is changing as progress is being made on the road. That is why there is to discover and understand each stage that lives the woman or the man beside it in time to be found a new one. We know that the discussions and the differences are going to exist always, we must therefore work together - shoulder to shoulder - in the conjugal relationship, and return to shine to marriage.
4. Want to work by the marriage
Aníbal Caves, author cited at the beginning, explains: "To enjoy the marriage makes lack being in love and to be in love with you need to be willing to sacrifice. In this way the happiness is a consequence of the forgetfulness of one same and delivery to the other in everyday life. If you want, it happens very well in marriage."