Kindly Aggressive Families
Interview by Marta Román to Professor Melendo, Academic Director of the University Studies on the Family

Author: Martha Román | Source:

It is frequently to hear, between people well intentioned, that the problem of the man of today is that he wants to be like God. Do not deny. But it is much more profound otherwise: the great handicap of our contemporaries is the lack of awareness of its own worth, that every man - man or woman, is a true marvel.

Such ignorance leads them to be treated and to treat others in a way absurdly degrading.
Centuries ago that Schelling wrote, more or less: "The man becomes larger to the extent that is known to himself and his own strength. Supplier to man the awareness of what actually is and learn immediately to be what it should; show respect theoretically and the practical respect will be an immediate consequence. The man must be good theoretically, work on it and also in practice".

And what does all this have to do with the family?

This is simple: the current man needs a peremptory manner to warn his own greatness and act in accordance with it. And the "place" where that learning takes place is, by force, the family.
Not only the child but the teenager who appears to deny it, the young before which opens a range of possibilities dazzling, the adult in fullness of faculties, the elderly who pretends to decline… are forged and redone, day after day, in the bosom of the own home. And temperate and reconstituted -¡personalized and re-personalized! if I may put it this way - are capable of to circumnavigate the globe, humanize it.
That is why the family… and for this reason a Master in Sciences for the Family.

Do you offer this Master a job training?

I shall answer you indirectly. As can be read in our web, these studies have something of the "revolutionary", also because it is directed to a broad audience.
Among others, to those who have understood the importance of family relations and the harmonious integration of work and family for the own happiness (fathers and mothers of families, mainly); the "family" origin of many failures schoolchildren (directors of schools, teachers, tutors…); the improvement of the family as one of the most effective remedies for good part of the social disorders, civic and urban (family counselors, responsible for citizen security, lawyers, social workers, political advisers…); health as a function of the family environment and not simply as a problem of isolated individual (pediatricians, family doctors, childcare workers, psychologists and psychiatrists…); the welfare and family balance as a determinant of profitability in the work (entrepreneurs, managers of resources Rights…); the opportunity to widen the professional landscape, including in it the tasks of prevention and assistance to families (therapy and family mediation, etc.); and many others.

How do you see the situation of the family in society?

Perhaps you feel somewhat crazy, but I say with absolute security that their situation is excellent. Does this mean that I do not know the circumstances that, in relation to these ends, crosses today humanity and, in particular, our country? At all. But I would add immediately that, from my personal perspective, the stir and changes on these issues is no more than a simple "story".
Obviously, I consider them to be important and worthy of continued attention and careful. Further, since a long time ago I come to insist that the "family" dysfunctions carry a high social cost, economic and, above all, human (personal suffering, often), which curiously, society was reluctant to recognize… and even encourages a more or less blatant and naked.

But i matters more to clarify that the Master is not at all fruit of such circumstances. On the one hand, because it raised quite before the changes to which I have just referred. On the other hand, and more central, because does not come only or mainly to give answer to these questions (although without a doubt the will have very into account), but with a dimension more absolute and universal: the attention to the family, with scope strictly university, is a task that deserves to be held in the margins of any situation or specific fact… because it plays the happiness of many people, you all!


Do you really is that what you think?

Of course. In addition, there is another reason more background on which, personally, not I give excessive weight to the complexity of the present moment.

I think to have good reasons for holding that "the decisive factor" for the proper functioning of any community is the temple of the people who comprise: "Each one of all", as he liked to repeat Carlos Cardona, my teacher. And as the temple is forging, redefines and retrieves especially in the family, she corresponds the most definitive role in human life.

Come here very to story a few words of our always disconcerting Don Miguel de Unamuno, which paradoxically indicate the only right way to achieve just what appear to reject. Although the I quote from memory, I do not think to digress much of the original: "You do not want to influence that they call the progress of culture, nor in the social environment, or in your village or in your time, and much less in the advancement of ideas, who walk alone. Not in the advancement of ideas, no, but in the growth of souls, in every soul in one soul and enough. The one is to live in the history; to live in eternity the other. You do not want to influence the environment or to intervene in that call point out directions to the society. The needs of each one are the most universal, because they are those of all. Take each if you can, separately and alone in her room, and restless inside, because who knew no concern, never know the rest. I know confessor more than a preacher. Communicate with the soul of each one and not with the collectivity".

Do you think that laws such as the gay marriage are an attack on the family?

If you will allow me to be frank, I am going to tell you that I am sick of hearing about "attacks" to the family. And not because The Hague. As Lenin was raised expressly that destroy the family, starting with the woman, was the most practical way to manipulate the society. And Gramsci overtook him the "honor" to introduce these ideas in the Western Europe and make would be implemented.

But all this was made possible by the passivity of "good", families good… The ones who speak constantly to defend themselves.
And don't! Now it is a good walk to the defensive! The family has to move from once the attack, transformed into a reality "kindly aggressive"… because it has a lot to offer to society.

Still more, the revolution that will lead us to the civilization of love so desired, has as a "weapon" essential to the family. This wonderful subversion that will give a dump to the world of today, or will be familiar or simply… will not be.

Do you believe that the family is valued at its just measure?

Without doubt. But not so much by those who, according to the surveys, considered as the main human institution, where they are more comfortable… and other statements by the style.

Those who have appreciated until the bottom the true value of the family is those who, like you before suggested, have become the center of their attacks.

They are the ones who have understood that, undone the family, have the world - the real power! - in their hands. The isolated individual is the most manipulated that exists.

The thread which just suggest, what is the role of the institution of the family in an individualistic society like ours?

I do not know if you remember those words of Camus, which to me were very deep: "Is Only sadness - loneliness suffered or beloved- must not be loved and not to love. What happens is that our world today is dying as a result of this misfortune: the long vindication of the justice has banished the love that, however, was the one who gave you birth".

Or those other, more current: "as is the family, and it is society, because this is the man". Or, by order: "The whole of the relations that are established within humanity depends radically from those that you set in the bosom of the family".

Really, are powerful expressions…

And so much! In my view mean that the famous "social" condition of the human being (the zoon politikón aristotelian) has a much more radical translation and precise: the man - man or woman, is first and foremost a "family".
Which means, in theory, it is not possible to understand a person outside the family in that integrates. And, in practice, that any human being, in all their activities - social, labor, recreation…- "bears", joyful or painfully, his own family.
And, therefore, that the family environment has a decisive influence on each of our actions; and that for improvement, and help to improve any person, it is essential to know more to fund what it is and how it works a family.
Again why a "Master in Sciences for the Family".

Tom Melendo professor of philosophy (metaphysics)
Academic Director of University Studies on the family
University of Malaga



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