|Masturbation: less moral and more science|
| Por: Carlos Chiclana, Doctor psychiatrist. | |
I find it disappointing to promote masturbation as healthy and desirable sexual behavior. Pediatricians, educators, and psychologists know that at some point in the maturation of the person and his personality, it may be behavior that is present sporadically. But I dare to say without blushing that the practice of masturbation as a habit is not beneficial for the sufferer.
I say that he suffers because it is suffering that is transmitted to me by the people who come to my office for this reason. They are not rare people, much less, maybe they are not sick either, but they sure have a problem they want to solve: masturbation. The doctor doesn't need to tell you, it is they who consider it slavery, a loss of freedom and ask for help.
Most want to solve it because it is chained. After all, it realizes that encloses. After all, it hinders the relationship with his wife and/or other people. After all, it generates inner disorder and restlessness to lose autonomy and capacity of Decision.
Some will think: but hey, this doctor where he came from, what nonsense he says, that doesn't happen to anyone. Unfortunately, I attend people with this problem every week. Fortunately, there are still people who are not ashamed to ask for help in the pursuit of their happiness. They are great people, to take off their hats, admirable, ordinary people with current problems like masturbation can be.
When I talk about problems, I don't mean the nonsense you can read out there, that if masturbation causes blindness, epilepsy, paralysis or acne. That are inventions, but they are not theoretical ideas the bad times that pass those who can not exercise their freedom because has to masturbate yes or yes, by the accumulation of excessive emotional tension, by impulsiveness, by compulsivity, to compensate frustrations, for hypersexuality problems, by difficulties in interpersonal relationships, by narcissistic or avoidant personality traits, because they have received an erroneous sex education because they developed simplistic behavioral learning based on satisfaction of the pleasure of the global immaturity of his person. We see therefore that the interesting is not so much the problems that this behavior generates, but why that person needs masturbation to balance his life or why he can not develop harmonious sexuality with his life project. Others use alcohol, drugs, food...
Preventive work is necessary to reduce the incidence of these problems and also to attend them when they are already present, instead of promoting or considering them in abstract without attending to each person integrally according to their needs and interests.
We Can consider that we have already passed the sex turkey, the crisis of the 68, the sexual revolution and the uncover. It is time to mature, to seek excellence and to be sexual leaders of ourselves, without anchoring in taboos, conventions social, moral or religious or believe the immature teenager who is entitled to everything because he is the king of Mambo.
We live in a hypersexualized society in which they are promoted as normal -probably by ignorance-, behaviors that are not or that are an expression of psychological or psychiatric problems. Some weeks the dominical are authentic treatises of psychopathology. Example: Wilma González (ex-miss Playboy TV, actress of Survivors) explains to us "I need to make love every day... This could be fine, but the explanation does not convince me at all: ... if not, I'm not comfortable. I need to feel wanted "A nice explanation of a pathological personality trait. It does not do it by own choice, by enjoying, by spending a pleasant moment, but by necessity, not only of loving but of valuing itself by the way others desire it.
I agree with a surfer who commented: "There is nothing worse than walking with fear and being repressed". Indeed, does not favor the person to be afraid of sexuality. Nor does it benefit him to repress -to say no by resignation- for whatever reason, and with the meaning of denial. Nor sublimate without further, in two ways. First of all in the sense of ordering it without living it for a greater good (morality, religious, health...) and second in the sense of living it without ordering it, also for what we consider a greater good (pleasure, enjoyment, debauchery...), in both cases is degraded, Invalidates and devalues sexuality.
Healthy sexuality is neither sublimates nor repressed, it integrates into the life project of each one, according to their criteria. To integrate it, we need to have the necessary competences, which in my opinion are the following: personal knowledge, order, pro-activity, rearing, sense of belonging to a group, industriousness, confidence in one's action, determination, initiative, knowing rest, friendship, rational reasoning, and rich and abundant affection.
Often the problems in the experience of sexuality are accompanied by other circumstances that can serve as indicators of the competencies that we are interested in acquiring to stay on the path of integration.
I summarize these circumstances in the following table:
Circumstances that accompany competitions
- • Disconcert. Surprise. Personal Knowledge.
- • Disorder. Lack of schedule. Order.
- • Laziness. Not to do what is owed. Pro-Activity. Diligence.
- • Fussiness. Laziness. rearing. Fortress.
- • Egocentrism. Narcissism. Individualism.
- • Sense of belonging to a group.
- • Fear Of the environment. Confidence in one's action.
- • Get carried away by the environment. Indecision.
- • Determination. Security.
- • Boredom. Waste of time. Initiative.
- • Exhaustion. Dejection. Know-How To Rest.
- • Emotional Reasoning. Rational Reasoning.
- • Children's feelings. Rich and abundant affection.
- • Laziness. Waste of time. Industriousness.
- • Colleagues. Friends who take advantage. Robust Friendships.
In short, all these comments arose to explain why I did not agree with the idea of promoting masturbation among young people in the community.