Where the critics are born
It is easy to find fault among those who live next to us. The husband or wife, parents or children, friends, and co-workers.
It's easy to find flaws in everything. In the socks, in the buildings, in the streets, in the cars, in the policemen and in the thieves (sometimes it is criticized more to the first ones than to the seconds).
It is easy to find fault among those who live next to us. The husband or wife, parents or children, friends, and co-workers. No one does not have a tic, a small vice, laziness more or less camouflaged, a way of thinking a little strange...
That's why it's so easy to criticize. Criticize everyone and everything. Criticize even for what does not exist. Sometimes from a real flaw, they begin to build false assumptions. Others go farther and begin to divulge slander without any foundation.
But not always discovering a flaw in another person leads us to criticize it, to highlight what is perhaps something small or simple. We criticize, therefore, some people and not others.
The question, then, is obvious: Where are the critics born? What is the mental mechanism that leads us to prosecute and condemn some yes and others not?
Sometimes we are surprised to see an internet page that makes a thousand complaints against domestic violence and keeps a grave silence on the injustice of abortion. Or another page that criticizes a politician for his economic ideas and does not recognize the merits of health improvements achieved thanks to him. Or to another page that criticizes everything of all, that discovers bad intentions in each heart, that does not leave "puppet with Head".
Why? The Heart of Man encloses a mystery of emotions and thoughts that intersect and distort the way of seeing things. A husband or wife, if allowed to be invaded by jealousy, will see grounds for suspicion in the slightest "strange" gesture of the other party. Perhaps there is nothing, there is absolutely the least infidelity. But it was born that mysterious feeling that leads to mistrust, to prevention, sometimes too reckless judgment.
Psychologists will notice that the human mind is extremely complex. Sometimes one can get used to destroy whole groups of people (those of such nationality or those of such a race) as if they were all bad, simply because he read a novel in which he presented that group as a mass of perverts. Or because at home the parents told that one day a thief came into the house and that thief was from that group and did this and this. Or because those people fall ill, no more: just seeing them comes a deep feeling of repulsion or contempt.
There May be real causes, but with disproportionate effects, as is the case in phobias. In a zebra pass, we were knocked down by a biker, and, since then, all motorists scare us. Or we found a doctor who was wrong about the diagnosis, and we don't want to know anything about doctors anymore. Or we saw a little patient priest, and since then we can't stand that someone speaks to us well of the priests.
Examples could multiply to infinity. Also the causes and the mental processes: There are as many psychologies as millions of human beings... Therefore, it is not easy to find a remedy for "the syndrome of critique."
A path of the solution consists of relativizing one's feelings of antipathy, in seeing life more serenely. Not all journalists distort reality, nor do all politicians steal, nor do all street vendors lie. A bad experience is simply that, a bad experience: it does not allow us to make a universal judgment on a whole group of people.
This, however, is not enough. The feeling of hostility towards the other, especially if we live with someone, can make us look black all, absolutely everything, as far as that person is concerned. Overcoming this type of mood is not easy, but we must not say that it is impossible.
Maybe some cases will need psychological treatment. In others, it will suffice to use that intelligence that we have to place in its righteous place our wounded feeling and to recognize that also by the mud (the defects that we all have) there are pieces of gold and hearts much better than we can imagine.
One last thought. There have been bitter and there will always be. And that's contagious. Who reads criticism, criticism and more criticism, sometimes founded on his "it says" vague, if not false and promoted by shady interests, will end up creating a mental form hypercritical. When you start reading a text, an internet page, or a book that exudes bitterness and hatred everywhere, it's worth unplugging. Fast.
If also, we are Christians, we should feel called to pray for that heart from which contagious criticisms are born. Let us not judge it, for then we fall into what we want to avoid. We can, instead, pray for him. It is a heart that must suffer a lot, but it is also called to love a lot and to forgive. Perhaps our forgiveness and our respect will help you to take a first step in the righteous direction, to rescue your dignity, to discover that good is always the last word of human history. A good that is present in all, even in that which seems bad to the marrow, when, in reality, hides, under a layer of ashes or slanders, a pure and sincere brightness of good, a glimpse of the love of a God who is close to each one of his children.