Hurry to get married
It is clear that we are in a very competitive society. There is a culture of haste: the one who gets up does not arrive. That Haste, that uneasiness, is conveyed to all the actions of life.
In this context, we find real contradictions. In this context, people usually get married later than our parents did. In many cases last thirty. The reasons are varied and this is not the time to analyze them.
On the other hand, the boy or girl who at eighteen does not have a girlfriend or boyfriend seems to be "no longer worth", or that is silly, ugly or unfriendly.
There are among the gangs a kind of fever of "let's see who gets a girlfriend before". This is detrimental to people since on many occasions they are not prepared emotionally for a step in that category, which causes them to suffer that could be avoided because they are ultimately useless situations. The search for emotions causes studies to be done with less depth or less concentration: one's mind is in "the other career". In the one to lie down boyfriend.
If dating at that age, it is almost likely to be a long courtship.
Anyway, these reasons I'm giving are not for people to delay the age of "grooming", but to show that there is no hurry. At least in such a hurry. And is not a reason that "our friends already have a partner". It seems as if there was a silent cry in the atmosphere: let's see who gets married before!
Serenity. That the objective is not to get married the first, but to find a person with whom to share life, that is worthwhile, that makes me feel proud to have him by my side, as the father or mother of my children. A person who has values, who knows what it is to want.
Careful, let's not forget that there is a lot of emotional illiterates; let's be smart to discover that person of characteristics related to ours. A person who is not wanted is in a moment of life.
It is said that the rushes are bad counselors and it is true, but in the fundamental things in life is even more true; we must not be hasty, because they are things that must be seen, pondered and decided. But first: see and ponder.
If you are going to buy a flat, do you stay with the first one you see for sale? The personal, the intimate, is more important and close to us than buying anything.
The author J.M.C. is a biologist and specialist in human resources in the world of the company. Author of books like "Between you and me. An intelligent relationship" (Ed. Libroslibres, col. Self-help, Madrid 2003).