How do I know when I'm ready to have sex?
Does being ready make it different? Better? Does it protect you from something?
If they gave me 25 cents every time they ask me this question, I'd be a millionaire. I shouldn't be surprised. Each of the television programs that include a teenager in the cast, have shown at least once that young woman being pressured to have sex but decides to wait because "does not feel ready."
Have you thought about these girls? How do they know when they are ready? How do they determine whether or not they are ready to have sex? Do they have any kind of alarm that is activated in their head? Any version of the biological clock? Does it make them ready? Is being ready makes sex different? Better? Does it protect them from something?
Debated with a sexologist on a TV show once. She said it was okay for teenagers to have sex when they felt ready and safe, which she related to "be ready to dive in from the platform instead of down the stairs".
The problem with all your "feeling ready" is that it all lies in feeling. But feelings, unfortunately, are within us and can change very easily. Feelings for themselves are not very useful in making decisions.
For example, if you are trying to deliberate if you dive into the platform, the most important question would be how smart do you feel?
Maybe you feel more than ready, maybe you visualize with your perfect nailing. Maybe your bathing suit is perfect. You feel ready. But there's no water in the pool.
Is Will being ready to help you? You'll die as soon as you make contact with the floor and it won't matter how smart you feel. The feelings are inside you, the pool is outside and you won't mind how smart you feel.
Sex is the same thing. When someone goes to the doctor with a sexually transmitted disease, the Dr. doesn't ask, "did You feel ready when you had sex? If you'd felt smart, this wouldn't have happened to you".
Sexual intercourse brings very serious consequences. Diseases of sexual transmission and unwanted pregnancies are the two obvious problems that young people face. A million teenagers get pregnant a year. And I'm sure everyone is aware of aids and the fact that teenagers are more exposed than adults. There are other illnesses you may not know very well. Herpes is an extremely painful and incurable disease that is said to affect 50% of sexually active people who are not married.
Human papillomavirus causes warts from sexual contact.
The frightening thing about HPV is that these warts can be the onset of cervical cancer.
Chlamydia is an infection that leaves the woman permanently sterile without causing any symptoms. "Feeling smart" won't protect you from any of this.
Nor will it protect you from the emotional consequences of premarital sex. We'll discuss them later.
So enough of the unpleasant things. The point is that decisions about premature sex are hard to take in our day. Many people are telling you a lot of different information on their faces. And many people make decisions about sex talking about how ready they are to do it.
That doesn't work.
Being ready to have sex means understanding the consequences, physical, mental and emotional. Being ready means being in a situation where you don't have to fear for any consequence.
It means being with a single partner who loves you and will not let you or infect you. This means being in a situation where becoming pregnant is not to be feared. Is to live sexuality in the way that God, the one who created us, planned for us.