Love among the mourners
I am with you, my friend, I share your pain and your sadness, which to their extent are also mine.
The tragic, unexpected death of a loved one, a close friend, a family of our friends... it can't stop being a cause of pain, the pain of not having it between us. It's a deeply human thing. Jesus, God Himself, and a man at once wept the death of his friend Lazarus, and in His infinite power, he brought him back to life.
The mourning people gather to pray for that person who left us forever in terms of mortality. Among the members of Christ's Church, rosaries are prayed as a group, as a family, and masses are attended begging for their eternal rest. But in the intentions of these prayers and masses, there are also those of comfort, resignation (in the hope of eternal life), for those who survive.
Humanly, we cannot help but grieve the death of the loved one, even though we know that eternal life is better, much better than earthly life, that whoever went in inner peace to the Father's House will undoubtedly be in unparalleled happiness of the presence of the Lord.
But something very important, in the meetings of the mourners, is precisely the presence of who loves them, loves them. When you are at the height of the pain of the tragedy, and when you remember on your anniversary, the presence of friends, gives the closest mourners a wonderful message, something that does not need to express themselves in words: "I am with you ", and I am here because that is the human love inspired by the Creator. How important is the human warmth of feeling accompanied in those moments!
Only those who have gone through the pain of suddenly losing a loved one know what it means to see friends come to join them, hug them. When a friend comes to share with the mourning, he knows well why he does it. He knows he doesn't have to say anything; just being there, doing company is the message of love. Words are missing and you're afraid to say the wrong phrases.
There is no shortage of people in awake or in a later meeting, who are presented "because... one must be seen," or similar causes, whose presence means nothing, neither to God nor to the mourning. We all know that, and that's why it's hard to "give a condolence," because a lot of phrases made are said meaningless: that's how it's used... and when the real friend is going to come up with the mourners, he asks other friends: what do I tell them that doesn't sound false, conventional?
Nothing, nothing needs to be said, the fact speaks: in your pain, I am here because we love each other in Christ, because humanly there is a true affection, that which makes us share joys and pains, as is the case. You both know that accompanying yourself in the pleas to the Lord is because you are fully aware of the value of common prayer: "when two or more of you ask the Father for something in my name...", we know.
In this way, love, true charity, is manifested among the mourning and their friends. This truth is also known, on the part of the mourning, when close friends, but in those moments physically far away, they say to them, "I cannot be there, but I am with you", and it is known that it is true; I can't be in person but I'm with you, and you add "I pray for your soul and you".
By this act of love, which seems perhaps so simple, so trivial, to accompany friends in their pain, is that it is known that true friends are counted, and that same act then has great value, before God and before men. If for Jesus visiting a sick person is of so much value, even more so has him visit the pain sick for losing a loved one.
"I am with you, my friend, I share your pain and your sadness, which to the extent are also mine. I hug you and maybe cry with you too, or hold my tears for later, so as not to deepen the pain that yours shed". This is love among the mourning.