Affectionate Presence
Children need to feel loved, not only know that they are.

Author: Staff | Source:

When people (men or women), at any stage of life, feel and live rejected from others, starting with their own family (parents, siblings, spouses, friends) society in general. That person turns aggressive, lonely and resentful, they live defensively and above all, in their heart nests and daily grows inside of them the need for revenge. “If I am not happy, no one will be happy”.

“The defense of oneself emerges, because they feel threatened, not taken into account. The temptation of defending oneself appears, of locking yourself in, of distrusting the true personality of another, of fearing to open up out of fear of reception and suffering”.

 School drop outs, drug addiction, alcoholism, prostitution, bullying, etc., appear as call for attention, a way we can see them and help them out. There are many rebels with cause.

Rebels, not by themselves, but for rejection and repression. And the least we give these people is trust, support, encouragement, and that fills them with frustration, anger and impotence. They are not considered, with all their defects and negative and impulsive reactions, to be human beings, entitled to be part of a family, a society and a positive world.

On the contrary, they are isolated, pushed away and even rejected because they are pointed out to be negative people, unbearable. The selfish choices of some hurt other so much. When all they need is trust, acknowledgement of their qualities, encouragement, care and love, just as any human being. 


Many people need not only know they are loved, but feel they are truly cared for. They need to feel they are trusted, because they are in real need of being, not only heard, but listened to. 

It is important to give them the opportunity to be heard, not out of curiosity, but real interest in helping them overcome the existential void. 

If parents did 50% of what they ought to do, violence in society would not exist.  

What is that 50% of parents’ obligations?

To accompany each and every one of their children, to open communication channels and dialog. To be true examples of congruence, encouragement and acknowledgment. To keep in mind that the best education is one’s example. To give each of their children quality time.

To correct, teach right from wrong, along with their benefits or negative consequences. Not everything is permitted, simply because not everything is good, and what is not good is hurtful for the body and soul. 

Children require specially the love of each of their parents to achieve a healthy development, physical and emotional. Even though spoken affection is  important, each one has to feel it and live it through out life, but it is essential at childhood, teenage and youth, they need above all else a good example from their parents. Parents that don’t impose, but convince. It is also needed and indispensable, children need to learn and live with principles to guide their lives: respect, responsibility, good habits, true freedom, order, and they need them from the very first months and years of life.  

When their basic needs of education aren’t met on time or met at all, there can be, and actually there are regrettable situations. Education, values and principles are never “out”, and they are to form beings that always seek goodness for themselves and others. 

And when there is need for correction, they would know it is for their own good and formation as human beings and people, not as aggression o resentment. In conflict and correction, however grave they might be, must always prevail mutual respect.

The children, the teenagers and the young are wrong… And where are the parents? 

Due to the lack of true affectionate presence, example and congruence there are infinite people who are resentful towards the world, looking for anyone to get back at.


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