Ability to Love
Author: P. Peter Coates | Source: Catholic.net
Being happy in life depends on your ability to love. There are those who refer to having committed a sin of love (which is as contradictory as saying hot snow ...). You can not sin of love. He sins because he does not love himself enough or because he loves badly, but not out of love or love.
You can never love too much. Saint Augustine says: "Love and do what you want". There is no word that has been distorted as much as love. More than sex education, you need an education in love. True love seeks the happiness of the one who loves, it is a gift without seeking something. Who loves to be loved does not condition. It is not a contract. Love is a passionate gift, gift and only gift without asking for anything in return. Love provokes a response of love, but it does not speak of the whole who loves to be loved, who conditions the way of going for the return price. It is not talking about a 50/50 contract, but the commitment of 100 vs. nothing.
Pure love is a donation. That sometimes causes reception. Love, in its most beautiful and fullest expression, is what Christ did for us. That is why he tells us in the Gospel: "Love yourself as I love you." When He loves us, He does not love us because He needs us or for some reward or because we are good, because He still loves us even if we are unhappy. Even while I sin, I still love, because I can not not love, that's love. If we want to be happy, we have to grow in love, we have to love more. This love in marriage is very real. The courtship is not real.
Someone said "everyone who gets married is deceived". If you, before you got married, you knew what the other was going to do, not even crazy people would have married. They live in the clouds, but when they land they realize that they have married a person of flesh and blood, imperfect and the only way to love is to love an imperfect person.
The expression is used: "to marry is to find your other half". That does not exist. What exists is "the ability to become the other half for the other". That is the real thing. Love demands sacrifice, but sacrifice, fidelity and perseverance are not fashionable and divorce is.
The history of the check-up of a husband: The lady goes by the results of her husband to the doctor who indicates that in truth her husband is very bad. The lady cries and asks what can be done. The doctor tells him that only taking care of him, allowing him to do so and not allowing him to work more can last longer. The wife returns to her home and says to her husband: "Viejo, you are going to die ...".
Scares the number of young couples 2-3 years of marriage, who are divorcing. I met a couple who had to marry, according to this very much in love, at least him. With the hurry and economic narrowness, the wife said, "Do you think I'm going to live in this dump?" And the girls? "After a while the problems came and they thundered a few months later.
How easy and common it is to give and give to children. How easy it is to consent to children. Consenting them is preparing them for a marital failure. We must educate them in the sacrifice so that they have what it takes to endure the trot of a married life. Marriage demands sacrifice. Love is essentially sacrificing myself for you, that's what makes you happy. The sacrifice is not traumatic or bitter, the sacrifice is full when it is done out of love. Love at the same time that it is sacrifice, love is faithful.
I remember the theme of fidelity that was focused on men, now it is for both of us. In the case of man, the physical aspect is what causes the most difficulties. In the case of women, the heart is where the key falls: "no woman lives without a lover". If the lover does not fill the gap, he becomes vulnerable and then he can fall. There is a testimony from a person who calls attention to who he is: the head of a New York agency that hires models. One day he told a girl: nothing will destroy a woman's beauty faster than a haul outside of her marriage. According to him, there is no cream or powder in the world that duplicates the color and calm brightness of a faithful woman. Infidelity is lying, lying never makes you happy.
I knew a case that caught my attention: a good person almost exemplary, a man of prayer, almost daily mass. He traveled a lot for work and always had a co-worker to help himself to be away from home. In a moment of sonsera, he got involved with a prostitute who turned out to be a boy. The next day he began to worry if he had contracted AIDS. You can imagine the scene: Go back home with your wife and ask yourself if you expose her or not. Now it was the husband who used excuses, the one who had headaches and did not want his children to approach him. He spent the time 1, 2 months and realized he could not take it anymore. I'm talking about a nice marriage. He ended up confessing everything to his wife. Fortunately, he had nothing. But one infidelity, one night, took him to hell and back. What fun are the drunkenness of pleasure! But where is happiness? It is easier to pay the price of fidelity, it is what fills, what gives joy, what gives the ability to see the eyes.
When I was a school principal, the most fun thing for me was to catch those who stole exams or other pranks. When asking who did it, he looked at them, they did not take more than 30 seconds to give themselves away. How difficult is infidelity, how it is paid. In Ireland we say: "Faraway hills always look green". Far everything is beautiful until there are rocks and thorns like everywhere.
The infidelity asides from making people suffert, makes people stupid. I am going to tell you a case of a gentleman, grandfather, of a normal family, he got involved with the secretary (it is always with the secretary ...), and in total the son realized, I followed the woman, he recorded conversations with a friend telling him how well he was doing and how he was falling and squeezing the old man. The son took the recording to the dad. The lord heard it, became angry with the son and continued with her. If that is not the best definition of being less, then I do not know which one.
Another man, he messed with a table-dance dancer. If they took him drunk, ok I understand, but that was not the case, the man was going to see her every night. Where does the moral enter, I do not speak of God, only of common sense. Infidelity is a consequence of not following the demand of love. This love is expressed in many ways, with daily affection.
Have you ever asked a beautiful and famous woman, How is it that by having the man you want, you have remained faithful? He replied: "They know that I am in love with him, I admire him so much because he has never hurt my feelings ...". How nice but how difficult! Doing this every day is love. Another expression is sexual. Marriage does not revolve around this, but it is an important part. There may be an inability to love sexually. He who does not love in life can not love through the body. The corporal love is an expression of the love that is lived every day. Sexual love is to seek the happiness of my partner, not to seek my happiness. Otherwise, instead of being an expression of love, it is a manifestation of mere selfishness. All corporal expression, what happens today, is nothing more than people who mutually masturbate, where the center of the sexual act is pleasure, not love and when this happens, it does not even cause real pleasure. When God creates this beautiful gesture when it is a true act of love, it produces an enormous pleasure of donation. When it is a selfish act, it leaves people as empty as ever.
Do you want to be happy? To love then, whoever is willing to go out the door losing will be happy.