Communication and love for a couple
If you do not know how to communicate, your marriage can become a desert
By: Sheila Morataya-Fleishman | Source: Contributed by Francisco Casadevall

If you do not know how to communicate, your marriage can become a desert. How to learn to express your feelings, emotions, and needs? Sheila Morataya explains how.

The woman of our time wants to be loved, caressed, pampered, pleased and from a young age, she begins to imagine that all this will take place at some point in her life as a couple. Live much more focused thinking about everything you have the right to receive and very little oriented towards everything you may be able to give.

Many of us visualize and anxiously await the moment when "I will finally receive". When you finally get married, you go with your suitcase full of illusions, passions, plans, projects. In what you do not think is that one day your husband will diminish the "I love you", pause the caresses and forget one anniversary.

Those details that were so frequent before will surely diminish and may disappear someday. What will you do when this happens?

Many choose to start claiming what you no longer have, others cry in silence, some fight up to five times a day. The last thing you do is communicate, talk, express what you do not like or what you know is wrong. That ability to open up and express oneself without grudges and emotional fires constitute a distinctive mark of personal maturity. Communicating so that the relationship grows strong and healthy is essential.

It's nothing strange

It is a sociologically proven fact that the most frequent complaint of wives is precisely the lack of communication with husbands, the lack of communication with them. Many times you feel trapped: if there are children, you have to get up very early, take care of them, prepare everything they bring to school. If you work you have to pay attention to your dress and hairstyle ... the hours go by, the night comes and after that long day, you are too tired to want to talk about what you know is wrong. And you find yourself saying, "maybe tomorrow." Or what is worse, why say anything if we do not get anywhere anyway?

Communication is equal to sharing and coexisting

"Only when, through a new act of his will, with full reflection and freedom, decide that there is such a profound and total union to which his love invites them, that union is established." -Pedro-Juan Viladrich.

"Because I love you I will do everything that is on my part to communicate with you. I will even do it as an act of my will that wants to join yours even though it often has to give in for the sake of our love. "How difficult, is not it? It is a challenge especially for you as a woman because we are immersed in messages that are not always helpful for our relationship. These are some of the thoughts that are proposed to modern women and whose base is not rooted in the living of Christian values. Sometimes the modern woman focuses on herself.

The following thoughts are very common today:

- You have the right to live your life: - You have the right to be treated like a queen; - do not let her do with you what she wants - in the marriage the two are the same - if she gives you a lot, leave it alone, it is better to be alone than badly accompanied. - the time when the woman was a slave has passed.

Each of the previous examples does not help to awaken the different forms of love in any way. Such a way of thinking does not invite dialogue to make the relationship more fruitful and solid. So, how should your intelligence be oriented to be able, in spite of this, to freely decide to give you because you want to build a clean and generous love rooted in the will to make biography together?

Do you know this fable?

In a vast frozen landscape, whipped by the blizzard, a sled slips. (Try to put all your attention on the scene). Its sole occupant travels to the North Pole. Of his face, covered with needles of ice, stand out the feverish eyes nailed with anxiety on the horizon.

The sleigh runs with the haste of the one who arrives late. The traveler is not distracted by his valuable luggage, which is all he owns. It does not allow the dogs to deviate an apex from the north, does not grant respite to its effort, nor diminishes its speed. Everything in him is a tense will to reach the goal soon. In arriving at the North Pole he has put the best of his energies, the most endearing of his hopes, the final meaning of his destiny. Only from time to time, our traveler pauses a moment to check if the direction is correct and how much distance still separates him from the North. And here the surprise. The instruments show you, without a doubt, that the direction is exact, but the distance from the North is increasing. In vain, he checks his instruments again and again: they are not damaged, there is no error in the measurement, the direction is good, and the distance does not cease to increase. And our traveler, between discouragement and hope, always forces speed, mercilessly punishes his dogs and throws them dizzily in the blizzard with the despair of the one who flees. Everything is useless, however, in each successive measurement, despite the fidelity of the direction, the North Pole moves further and further away ...

What happens to the protagonist of such a dramatic journey? I want to point out that the vast frozen landscape through which this tiny sleigh is traveling, is nothing more than an immense ice floe, a colossal iceberg, that moves southward at a much greater speed than our poor traveler runs north... The goal of the trip and the ideals of their luggage were noble. Your effort, admirable. But the base on which the whole adventure was based was so radically wrong that it led him fatally to the opposite pole.

Also, dear readers within the communication in marriage can happen something similar if you do not have total clarity in what you are willing to give and stop receiving for your marriage to work. It is not that we are equal or deserve the same. It is about knowing how to communicate. Simply put aside the feelings, from time to time, and "know how to be" smart to communicate, and make sure that what you want to say is what your husband understands. Without good communication, marriage will become a terrible desert. If you learn to communicate, your marriage will be a beautiful garden.