Attention to conflicts!
The secret of a good marriage lies in knowing how to resolve the conflicts that arise - serious or not.
Author: Michael Ryan Grace | Source: Catholic.net
Attention to conflicts!
The secret of a good marriage lies in knowing how to resolve the conflicts that arise - serious or not
By: Michael Ryan Grace | Source: Catholic.net
When husbands speak of their marital difficulties, it is very common to hear an expression like this: "What caused the crisis was real foolishness". As they expose their difficulties in more detail, one can appreciate how, in most cases, they are effective "nonsense," "typical" things.
However, they are worried because they feel that this nonsense is hurting them or, in more serious cases, destroying the relationship. Maybe they can not find out why. Let's see some cases
He leaves me aside when he talks to other people and this makes me feel very little necessary. He no longer tells me his intentions due, perhaps, to the little interest I showed in his tastes.
I am a person who practices a lot of sport. Last Sunday I played the semifinal of the championship. My wife informed me two days before her nephew was going to make the first communion. The glass was spilled when I told him he would not come because ...
My wife did not ask my opinion about a piece of furniture she was going to buy, even though she knew that I was worried about some payments we had to make. When I found out, I got very angry because I think it manifests immaturity and irresponsibility.
It can be said that this is not about big problems here. In addition, some conflicts in life are inevitable in that marriage is the coexistence of two people very different from each other for their education, history, and sensitivity. The secret of a good marriage lies in knowing how to resolve the conflicts that arise - serious or not. Love is not something made forever. It is necessary to create it every day and an important sample is to be attentive to what happens inside the other person. Have ears not only for the words that are said but for the feelings that are behind. The important thing, in this first step, is not to ask yourself who is right.
This attitude of attention to feelings and emotional states is an essential part of love and it is easy to see why. Love seeks to make the other happy and a part of this happiness is to make him feel understood and accepted in his whole being, in his way of thinking and acting, in his sensitivity and his tastes. People are (we are) very complicated realities, a strange combination of body and spirit, of poverty and greatness. We need a lot of understanding.
This does not mean that we should make efforts to go beyond tastes and susceptibilities, but we will talk about this in the second part. Now I invite you simply to look at this world of feelings and accept the fact that they do not always behave according to "logic".
The last straw that she shed was when I was very upset because I had had a very difficult day with the children and he, instead of helping me or understanding me, became furious and then scolded me because he said he had enough with work to have more problems at home.
It raised a serious difficulty between us that my partner had accepted on his social commitment that overlapped with another commitment that we had long in advance and that involved our two families.
It hurts me that he does not call me when it's too late and I do not know where he is
It usually causes an explosion, in our marriage, the intervention of my political family in something that we do not agree with. It is enough that it comes from there so that the glass spills.
What marriage does not find cases like these? They are situations that embody the typical complications of human life in which feelings come into play and, sometimes, in shock. Think now of your relationship and see if you capture and accept your partner's feelings. See how he reacts to your words, your actions, your omissions. Look objectively, above your good intentions.