A break once in a while in matter of sex
Author: Staff | Source: Catholic.net
We are humans...
Everyone has sexual desires. And since we are human, we cannot ignore that the natural thing is that we have weaknesses. Many think that it should not be given much importance, but we should.
When we say we are human, many seem to want to justify that the natural thing in man is not to have dominion over passions and instincts.
However, we must expect something more from ourselves. We are beings endowed with intelligence, will and freedom. God has given us the gift of sexuality not to dishonor him, abuse it and degrade it, but to give it a use according to our nature of rational beings.
To say we are human, in that sense, leads to equivocal language:
“I've been watching a pornographic movie when my wife was out. What do you want me to tell you...? We're human.” My boyfriend tells me: “that’s what they all say”
“That is, if it’s true that I love him, I’ll prove it. That is necessary for mutual knowledge. Which is very important to fall in love with a person knowing how it works in that. We're human.” “The other night, in a congress in another city, I met in the hotel with a lovely blonde. Everybody does. Things are different nowadays. We're human.” “A lot of magazines bring some content a little too strong. Everybody reads them. I'm not going to be out of today's society game. We're human.”
You say that everybody does it, that we are human, that all that does not affect you so much, that you are already an adult, that you are capable of assimilating it. Do not fool yourself, because you will be the one who takes on the consequences within your own heart. Because those giving up on those morals are raising inside you a wall that is consolidating more and more, until in the end there is no pickaxe that knocks it down. A dam in which, although it is difficult for you to recognize it, many blocks are nothing other than selfishness, and selfishness is a mistaken refuge, which will end up obscuring that previously transparent relationship.
Some say that it is impossible to live today without ever granting a respite in a matter of sex. It seems an unreasonable way to justify itself. In addition, with this approach, these people should not be disturbed to doubt the honesty of their parents, their wife, or their husband. They consider lust or infidelity like a simple whim that can't be left, it's a sad way to cheat. Lives ruined by lust.
We have all known or heard of people whose lives have been shattered by the misuse of sex. Perhaps at the start of their misfortunes there was much of the purported naivety. And in the settling of addiction, a silent nourishing their own weaknesses.
“They were little nonsense, nothing more important. Try, nothing happens. New emotions. A simple concession without further transcendence, which does not harm anyone. Besides, everybody does... We're human.”
However, as Mother Angelica has pointed out, the fruits of letting oneself be carried away by the addiction to sex has a cost, for you and your soul. “They are personal harmless errors”. From the moment the person succumbs, this error - sin- ceases to be something imaginary to enter one's life. Now it's about my mistake, about my sin. It is in my memory. It is real. It is not something that I can easily disregard.
Whoever has been carried away by sexual disorder must stop to think, and decide to take a cool shower, intellectually speaking, to wake him from the deception with himself, and so value properly these acts, those TV shows, those movies, those websites, those magazines or books that you usually see or read. They say it doesn't matter, but deep down they know well that sin always matters.
But many people do not believe in sin...
The history of humanity clearly shows that the conscience of sin is something that has always weighed on man, who is a being who needs to remedy the guilt that his personal mistakes make. All religions, and even the oldest cults of the pre Christian era, speak of forgiveness and atonement for sins, and all systems of thought arise in one way or another the problem of the liberation of sin.
Every man makes mistakes. Some will be more serious than others, and some more guilty than others, but they all compromise in some way their happiness. Sin always produces harm to oneself, wants to recognize or not. In the same way that, for example, drugs destroy the body’s health, it could be said that sin, if there is no repentance and rectification, will deteriorate the health of the spirit and ruin the whole life of man.
- And do you consider chastity for a person's faith important?
Bernales said that if he had not lost faith it was because God had been good to keep him from lust. This seems to me an accurate affirmation, because in the beginning of all estrangement from God there is usually a surrender in this matter.
Concreting a little.
The reality must not be circumvented or distorted. As much as you try to disguise yourself, adultery is a sin. Sexual union before marriage, masturbation, homosexual activity, movies and pornographic magazines, all that, even when admitted and consented, is sin.
- But no one is exempt from sin...; is it that, then, no one can be happy?
It is true that no one can totally avoid sin. But, faced with the natural harassment of sin, there are two attitudes: affinity in it, or repentance and forgiveness.
When one tries to ignore sin, the same thing happens as when garbage accumulates inside the house and is not thrown out.
At first that carelessness
It seems more comfortable,
But it ends up turning life
In something very unpleasant.
Every time you are presented with a chance to sin, you are also offered an opportunity to choose the way of truth. As long as you don't consent, as long as you say no -no matter how many times you have to repeat the no- there will be no sin. What matters is resisting temptation, not approaching it recklessly, striving with determination.
Each time your weakness is imposed and you fall into evil, you are hurting yourself, and perhaps others, and you are rejecting God. You install yourself in the lie, a lie that may be satisfying in the short term, but that will eventually trap you in solitude or in despair if you do not leave it soon. If that is where you are at this moment, you know well what I am talking about and you should beg God to give you the courage to change.
You must tell God you need him, to come out of sin or not to fall into it. You do not need to recite a long formal prayer. A plea for help will be heard, but you must keep praying until you get out of it. God is with you. There's No need to explain your case. He's witnessed everything.
To confess one's sins to another man?
"And is it not too much to ask that you have to confess and admit your own mistakes before another man?"
When a man kneels in the confessional because he has sinned, writes George Weigel, at that precise moment he helps to increase his own dignity as a man. Although these sins weigh heavily on your conscience, and have seriously diminished your dignity, the act itself of turning towards God is a manifestation of the special dignity of man, of his spiritual greatness, of the greatness of the personal encounter between man and God in the inner truth of his conscience.
Non-believers wonder if it is appropriate to disclose the most intimate secrets to someone who is perhaps a stranger. The confession was, without a doubt, a daring innovation of the Christian faith. It is a mandate of Jesus Christ to his church, when he gave the apostles that power to forgive sins: those who forgive sins are forgiven; to those who retain them, they are retained.
The confession is one of the innovations, most impressive of the gospel.
On the other hand, when the priest confesses, in addition to forgiving sins, he acts in some way as a companion to the drama of another man's life. He accompanies another human being like him, stimulates his spiritual criterion, helps him deepen his faith and improve his Christian discernment, which must not be a mere litany of moral prohibitions. In the confessional, the priest meets the man in the depths of his humanity, helps each person to enter into the Christian drama of his own life, unique and unrepeatable. A drama full of peace and hope, but presided over by the inevitable dramatic tension of life: the tension between the person I am and the person I must be.
The church seeks to reconcile man with God, with other men, with all creation. And one of the ways he has to do this is to remind the world of the reality of sin, because that reconciliation is impossible without naming the evil that causes division and rupture.
Sin is an essential part of the truth about man. Man can do evil, and he does it. And it opens with it a double wound: in himself and in his relations with his family, friends, neighbors, colleagues and even with the people he does not know.
Call by its name the good and evil
Is the first step towards conversion,
The reconstruction of every man
and of all mankind.
To take seriously sin is to take human freedom seriously. The closer men come to God, the closer they are to the depths of their humanity and the truth of the world.
God does not want but our own good. To disobey his mandates is to go against our truth as men, to cause us harm to ourselves. "Sin", wrote Javier Echevarria, does not remain in something peripheral that leaves the one who performs immutable. Precisely because of its status as an act against our truth, against what we truly are and what we are truly called to be, it affects the innermost of our human nature, deforming it. All sin hurts, man breaks down the balance between the sensitive dimension and the spiritual and generates in the soul an intimate disorder between the various faculties: intelligence, will, affection. Afterwards, and as a consequence of sin, our operative powers appear weakened and, frequently, in conflict with each other: the mind, submitted to the influence of the passions, finds it hard to accept the light of truth and separate it from the mists of the false ; the will finds difficulty in choosing the good, and feels tenaciously attracted by the search for self-assertion and pleasure, even when they oppose good and justice; our affections and desires tend to focus selfishly on ourselves".
Sinning is turning your back on God. From the moment you recognize the truth -that simple and liberating truth, well present and clear when we do not resist to see it- from that moment when -in Lloyd Alexander's words- you have had the courage to look evil face to face , to see him for what he really is and to give him his real name, from then on he lacks power over you and you can overcome it.