And If the Children Did Not Arrive?
What happens when we do not get what we want? To whom will we supply the responsibility?

Author: Vivian Jeannette Forero Besil | Source:

Exercise of its own volition this human condition of transcending leads to be united by a loop invisible but too strong, the infinite love that God has for us, because he alone is responsible for making this dream a reality wonderful

To think that we can achieve everything that we intend or that we have the authority to buy everything you want, you can convert to an obsession and in this condition is easy to immerse ourselves in moments of panic, depression, denial or disappointment. Is not really has everything that you want or accomplishes everything it proposes since it would be unlikely that the life outside so simple. When do you value most things? Without a doubt when it requires the sacrifice, the daily work, constant and persevering and dedicated. Gives a lot of satisfaction when it reaches a goal but which has been declared as maximum end face to God. When you want to fervently an achievement, not by caprice but by dignity, by commitment to ourselves and to the people that surround us, and when the illusion becomes reality, it reaches a very great gladness, so much so that many times we cry excited and we share this happiness with loved ones, spreading them of hope and gratitude. It should be noted that sometimes we fervently wish that we be a dream come true, a hope, a hope, and we try very hard to achieve this but the reality that is presented to us is another than expected. And with this is not to say, that we were acting evil or wrongly, simply things were not to be given.

On other occasions, we becomes ephemeral situations because we have not focused on the real pursuit of happiness. There are moments in our life in which we feel crossing needs and many times, they are considered as basic, but in reality they are not, for example: the purchase of a vehicle, buying a jewel or a suit of brand, traveling the world, and the listing of material things that many times is wanted and that are not as essential, would not be completed, because we rely only on the material. The truth is that every time we want more and more. Many times we do not quenching and rely happiness in the trivial, the passenger. Both we got used to having, that the simple fact of buy gives us no satisfaction. But what is true and essential? It can be no more than what we fill completely, we rejoice, will provide us with immense joy, absolute tranquility, that make us feel so well with single share of the company of that person to that loves too, so taking a coffee sitting on a cushion in front of a fireplace.

But what happens when we do not get what we want? To Whom Will We Supply the responsibility? Certainly in the reality, to those around us, to life itself to God, to luck. And it is not true that the others have a better life, are simply circumstances that are presented and measure our patience, our faith and the sense to exist and find true happiness, not the one that is purchased, but that they feel within itself, despite the adversity. Only God provides this security, this warmth that shelters, that love that give comfort, that wisdom with which one learns to accept without question, without desiring what others have, of live and let live, love and let ourselves be loved. How many people have "everything" and something they lack to be happy.

Then, we question, what happens in our lives when what we dream or by what we are not makes us reality? What happens within a family in which has been dreamed that children travel the entire home with their very small steps and with their laughter and in this expectation, never arrive? This is the case of the two people, man and woman, who are known, are love and unite their lives by the grace and divine blessing, to build a road together; seek to build a home, dream of having children but that light we are gradually disappearing? It is not an easy situation to accept because the hardest thing is to recognize that you cannot be a mom or a dad biologically. It is hard to face the society. The questions of the people ill-timed, the visions of those who do not understand and the a priori judgments, are some of the uncomfortable situations that usually appear, in addition to the shame of friends, relatives and others. And if the children did not arrive, what to do? Possibly cry uncomfortable, to lay blame on the other, escape the problem, turning in on ourselves, to abandon the loved one that we have accepted to undertake a journey together, in good times and bad. But the reality must be another.

Before that nothing, as the first step, look in the depths of the heart if in fact we want to be parents, examining the truth of what we yearn, not to satisfy the ego of being, to achieve as gives rise as looking for a trophy, because a child is not an object you are looking for in a supermarket. A son or daughter is a huge responsibility that requires conviction, Vocation, delivery, commitment, service, sacrifice and love of the largest therefore be parents is for all life and to eternity.


In a second step, we must accept the reality. Sometimes seek tirelessly the causes for which you cannot engender that seed that will bring many joys at home; on other occasions they are looking for different alternatives of procreation (which I am not going to deal in this reflection). We believe that everything is so easy to achieve that in the attempt and the failure most disillusioned we feel.

A third time will always take decisions, but not individualized, trying to imagine that future without children or with children. Because the time passes and do not go back. Sometimes the decisions must be taken with strength and conviction, thinking in the good of the couple and the family that has been initiated, together, without thinking of what others wish to, because it is a construction between two (husband and wife). When we also take the decision to marry, what should we do with property, bearing in mind that the voyage starts between two, the one in synergy with the other, always remembering that won us the sky through the spouse. If we join of their own free will, it is our duty to remain similarly states, facing situations that ever present for good or to improve. It is very sad that before becoming parents put different realities above, that by vanity or by selfishness seem most important and that when we realize we have sacrificed so many important moments that later, very possibly we weighed. There are couples that bind only to travel or to enjoy life, when you can also build a future, enjoy and grow together and in family.

In the fourth place, must be to provide alternatives to exercise the paternity. In reality there are many ways to be parents; there are some people who feel full dedicating his life to near and dear ones and that are like their children, as nephews, Friars Minor, godchildren, etc. There are people who decide to be parents of heart through the adoption. This last alternative is wonderful; there is a special grace to be a mom or a dad heart because there are a few links that come from God and which narrow so about naturally that is indescribable and inexplicable what happens. What a miracle larger when you unite beings who were born in a slightly different way and that by the divine will meet and are interwoven in a big love and pure as is that of the family.

And if children do not come… would complement, naturally, there is enormous potential to be mum and dad. Exercise of its own volition this human condition of transcending leads to be united by a loop invisible but too strong, the infinite love that God has for us, because he alone is responsible for making this dream a reality wonderful. Once you start this commitment, is irrevocable. It is therefore very important that before taking the decision to be a dad or mom be, always let us return to the first step… do we wish to be a dad? Or is only the pressure of society.

It is mom or dad today and has not taken into account a reflection on its action, anticipating and preparing to be the best guide, counselor and trainer, is the time to stop their steps on the path initiated and to reconsider how important is the footprint that are leaving on that son or daughter. Everything that he or she is going to achieve in your life is linked to his example, to its orientation, accompaniment, training and love. Without a doubt, which prepares to be a good father or to be a good mother, will be pondered permanently to correct your actions and achieve its perfection for the good of your son or daughter; he who is a father or mother by accident and welcomes it with gratitude, love and dedication, will also sow a journey full of the best for this little person that came to his life, many times without being waiting, but that in reality, will be your company and most precious treasure in your life.

Always worth the effort and sacrifice for the happiness of the son or daughter who will be the fruit and the reflection of the tireless work of mom and dad.


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