Menu


The Excellence of the Conjugal Love
There is no greater triumph that create and maintain a home where it is cultivated the personal love and gives life to new beings


Author: Alfonso López Quintás | Source: Catholic.net



We are deeply concerned to discover clear signs of decadence in the present society: growing alcoholism, drug addiction overflowing, and indiscipline - when non-violence - in the classrooms, decline in the birth rate, corruption in various aspects of life... But it is not enough to feel concern. As members of a cultured society, we should strive to discover the causes of this deterioration to search for possible remedies. Today is checking, for example, that a good part of school failures respond to loneliness and the lack of foster care who suffer many children in their homes. This knowledge can be the starting point for a change of behavior in family life.

We know that the corruption of human life, at all levels, begins by the corruption of the mind. And this is manifested in the confusion of the concepts, the superficiality of the approaches, and precipitation at the time of making decisions. Hence the urgent need to neutralize the harmful effects of the Handling, sort the mind, clarify the words, and learn how to use language in a way that is precise and to pose well the problems.

It is therefore essential to exercise the intelligence in such a way to buy the three conditions that confer maturity, namely: long range, scope and depth. The person of mature intelligence 1) is not, of short-sighted way, in the immediate prints; goes beyond, a broader horizon; 2) Pay attention, to the different synoptically aspects that presents a reality or an event; 3) seeks to grasp the meaning of all of them and of the set to which they belong.

When you exercise this type of three-dimensional intelligence, it is discovered that the big issues of life that have been discussed recently in our society were raised so inadequate, by unilateral. It began by highlighting some aspect of the same that has afflicted the sentimental fiber of the Gentiles, but were set aside certain strands of the same that, because of their gravity, should be subjected to a careful study and penetrating. The philosophical methodology warns us that the first condition to properly raise a problem is put on the table all the variables of the same. It was noted that these wrong topics were treated in many countries, reductionist mode.

In the case of divorce, it is reduced to a means to resolve the problem of the "broken marriages" and pretended to ignore the inescapable fact of the negative impact that usually have on children the discord of parents that culminate in some form of rupture. This partial approach can respond to a desire manipulator to defeat the people without taking the trouble to convince them. In any case, reflects a type of intelligence that lacks long range and remains prey immediately in the desire to resolve the problems of an expeditious manner without regard for the consequences that may have the decisions taken.



In contrast, which gives its understanding of the three dimensions above was striving to overcome the impact which it produces in its spirit the first confrontation with the specific conflicts and devotes time to think about what happens beyond the proclamation of law divorces and each specific act of divorce. Such reflection allows you to discover, through the confrontation with what happened in other countries, that divorces cause disturbances nothing mild in the conduct of the children and the law divorces causes, after a certain period of time, a serious alteration of the idea of marriage as a form of indissoluble union. It is well known that the importance of laws lies not only in which prohibit or prescribe but in the spiritual atmosphere they create.

This thoughtful person want to cordially resolve the problematic situation of who judge inevitable separation or divorce, but at the same time felt compelled to weigh the misfortunes that can lead to such a measure in a short or medium term. This attitude is at risk of being weighted marked with a cross of outdated and intolerant by those who interpret it as insensitivity to the immense pain that involve the failure of love. A society that glorifies the change and converts it to term "Talisman" tends to be very aggressive with those who - in his view - deny others the freedom to perform arbitrarily.

For this and other reasons, it is feared that the law divorces is made irreversible. Do not expect from time that Governments assume the risk of cutting the "freedoms" that granting such a law. Are mere "freedoms of maneuver" -freedoms to arbitrarily decide the future of the own marriage unity-, but today we often confused this form of freedom with the 'freedom for creativity" and is considered essential to live with personal dignity.

What is in our hands is to increase the knowledge of the unsuspected richness that enclose the ways of unity that we can create with the realities of the environment, especially the highest and valuable. This knowledge will lead us to assess very high the marital unity and to increase the esteem of a way of life that seems to be today unjustly deprecated. When you exercise this type of three-dimensional intelligence, it is discovered that the big issues of life that have been discussed recently in our society were raised so inadequate, by unilateral. It began by highlighting some aspect of the same that has afflicted the sentimental fiber of the Gentiles, but were set aside certain strands of the same that, because of their gravity, should be subjected to a careful study and penetrating. The philosophical methodology warns us that the first condition to properly raise a problem is put on the table all the variables of the same. It was noted that these topics detonates were treated in many countries, reductionist mode.

In the case of divorce, it is reduced to a means to resolve the problem of the "broken marriages" and pretended to ignore the inescapable fact of the negative impact that usually have on children the discord of parents that culminate in some form of rupture. This partial approach can respond to a desire manipulator to defeat the people without taking the trouble to convince them. In any case, reflects a type of intelligence that lacks long range and remains prey immediately in the desire to resolve the problems of an expeditious manner without regard for the consequences that may have the decisions taken.

In contrast, which gives its understanding of the three dimensions above was striving to overcome the impact which it produces in its spirit the first confrontation with the specific conflicts and devotes time to think about what happens beyond the proclamation of law divorces and each specific act of divorce. Such reflection allows you to discover, through the confrontation with what happened in other countries, that divorces cause disturbances nothing mild in the conduct of the children and the law divorces causes, after a certain period of time, a serious alteration of the idea of marriage as a form of indissoluble union. It is well known that the importance of laws lies not only in which prohibit or prescribe but in the spiritual atmosphere they create.

This thoughtful person want to cordially resolve the problematic situation of who judge inevitable separation or divorce, but at the same time felt compelled to weigh the misfortunes that can lead to such a measure in a short or medium term. This attitude is at risk of being weighted marked with a cross of outdated and intolerant by those who interpret it as insensitivity to the immense pain that involve the failure of love. A society that glorifies the change and converts it to term "Talisman" tends to be very aggressive with those who - in his view - deny others the freedom to perform arbitrarily.

For this and other reasons, it is feared that the law divorces is made irreversible. Do not expect from time that Governments assume the risk of cutting the "freedoms" that granting such a law. Are mere "freedoms of maneuver" -freedoms to arbitrarily decide the future of the own marriage unity-, but today we often confused this form of freedom with the 'freedom for creativity" and is considered essential to live with personal dignity.

What is in our hands is to increase the knowledge of the unsuspected richness that enclose the ways of unity that we can create with the realities of the environment, especially the highest and valuable. This knowledge will lead us to assess very high the marital unity and to increase the esteem of a way of life that seems to be today unjustly deprecated.

 

The value of the relationship
We know by the current Science that all the realities of the universe from the indefinitely small to the immensely large, are based on the relationship. The last elements that constitute the material are "energies structured", interrelated energies. "The raw is not more than 'doted energy of form', informed - writes the canadian atomic physicist Henri Prat-; is energy that has acquired a structure" (1). A structure is an ordered set of relationships. A relationship is the minimum ingredient of a structure. "Give Me a world - a world with relations - and create matter and movement," says conclusively the great English physicist A. S. Edington (2).

Similarly, the plant life and the animal is based on interrelationships. Suffice it to recall the gender aspect of plants and animals, the pollination of plants, the microclimates that make life possible of the trees in the forest... All beings live in interaction, but they do not know and they want it. Due to a basic law of the universe, which assembles all beings among themselves.

Also the human being is regulated by that law, but such regulation ceases to be in him unconscious and passive to become lucid and active. The more qualified Biology currently teaches us that man is a being "meeting"; lives as a person, develops and perfects as such by creating all sorts of meetings. Comes from the amorous encounter of their parents, born in an environment that is a frame of personal relations and is called to create new friendly relations. It is a sublime and fearsome privilege yours the duty to create throughout his life the tissue of relations that has to be their spiritual home. If you do, reaches its full development. If shuns do so, crashes and destroys.

Family life has the committed exalted of hosting the man newborn, inspire in your mood a feeling of confidence in the environment and suggest the crucial importance of the relationships for his life. The formation of the child is to make you live in a climate conducive to the establishment of relations of encounter and suggest, by word and example, the wealth that encloses create drive modes increasingly close and fruitful with the realities of the environment. The most valuable drive mode is without doubt the one that we call meeting, seen in direction rigorous. When a young person discovers the immense creative possibilities that we open the various modes of encounter, is well prepared to understand the high quality of family life.

To this high degree of quality we are alluding to speak of the "indissolubility" of marriage, the need to create a conjugal relationship "for life". To use these expressions, we do not want to underscore both the temporary duration of the marriage as the high quality that must have the drive mode that it entails. With full justification we can facilitate the newly-weds this hopeful key orientation: "Try to live the love of authentic form and your conjugal unit will have a capacity of endurance". unsuspected Similarly, although in very high level, to speak of "eternal life" in the religious aspect, we do not want to accentuate firstly its unlimited duration but their character exalted.
This remarkable quality of the matrimonial union originates in the decisive fact that the unity which is the fruit of a mutual generous dedication is in human life a goal, not merely a means to an end which is alien to it. It is often said that "unity is strength". And it is true, but can lead to the error of thinking that the unit has as purpose to make us strong. The current state of the research - scientific, anthropological, ethics, axiological, aesthetics...- allows us to see that the unit formed by a confluence of interrelationships mark on our lives a summit. If we unite ourselves in this way, we are "per-defects", we reached our fullness as people. The Unit therefore is the goal of our existence of people. To break this unity, we impoverish our personal reality to a point that perhaps we cannot suspect.
For this very reason, any attitude that slow down or annul the possibility of achieving a very high drive mode is displayed, adverse to unethical our process of personal development. Hence it gravity that enclose the attitudes of selfishness, autonomy uprooted, haughtiness, harsh, infidelity, lack of solidarity and other similar. The experience confirms us daily that we refined as people when we collaborate to create realities that we surround and nourish spiritually. Consider the interrelationship fecund that we can establish with our family and with all sorts of institutions. On the contrary, our being lost vitality and suffocation when we intend not to do things and we dissociate ourselves of what is called naturally to weave with us the fabric of links that is a personality well done.

Inspired by the high idea that has of conjugal life, Luis Risk Méndez - Doctor in Philosophy and psychologist specialist in marital counseling - has devoted his remarkable power of analysis to the clarification of various misunderstandings that hinder the exact understanding of what it is and involves the family life (3). In this work submitted to analysis the consequences of a law divorces which was presented as a safe solution to the problem of family conflicts but, to the 20 years of its promulgation, leads us to believe that - in homemade expression - "was worse the remedy that the disease". Once more confirms the rule according to which an approach - for evil done be demagogically partial - does not help never to solve the problems but that cause greater evils. That is why the first obligation of the leaders at the time of the big decisions is to commit to raise the subjects with the greatest rigor.

Reflect on the consequences of the law divorces is a task that concerns to legislators but not less than every one of the people who constitute the society, because we are all beings of meeting and we are bound by our same be staff to create all sorts of shapes of unity, among which stand out the loving and family. We are not only before the question of how to sort our life of social relationship, but of how to achieve the ways of unity that give our person his weight, its effectiveness and its value.

The fruitfulness of the "Pedagogy of ideal"

The greatness and the fruitfulness of such forms of unit the discover young people by themselves when they realize that the authentic ideal of his life, which leads them to its highest personal realization, is the ideal of unity. If we want to effectively help the young people to regain the ability of admiration to the vitalities that owns the marital unity, when properly designed and conducted, we must put into play a "pedagogy of ideal" well founded and articulated.

When you live the married life with the energy it generates the ideal of unity is taken as a goal the preserve and increase the European homely. To break this union is then considered as a failure. If the spouses begin to lose the cordiality due to any fault - unexcused absenteeism, infidelities, excessive expenditure, bad mood, lack of collaboration...-, will think first of all in overcoming this crisis avoiding the reasons of disgust and chafing. Do not use a hasty separation or even to divorce in looking for an easy way out and radical. With any dose of patience and willingness of mutual aid, is achieved, often, reorient family life and restore peace and joy. The flaws and faults are not insurmountable for ordinary when walking toward the achievement of unity, considered as the term of a excited pilgrimage.

"As a psychologist - writes the great pedagogue German Josef Kentenich - I emphasize in principle that the secret of the maturation of the young people lies in the development of the ideal staff". "The difficulties juveniles are overcome in what is essential when young people find their ideal personnel" (4).

Surprised to see the ability to endure hardships we have when we propose to reach a difficult goal. Live the marriage unity of authentic way is a difficult task, but it is not impossible to those who directed their energies toward a very high value, the Most High, which constitutes our ideal of personal beings. This value has to be careful with the greatest care, avoiding anything that might jeopardize it. Sometimes starts, outside of marriage, a friendly relationship spontaneously and well intentioned, but at the time less thought arises the flare falling in love, which gives the fret with the family unit developed during years.

The which it adopts in the life a hedonistic attitude and possessive tends to consider the marriage unity as something you have and which you can change to a more rewarding relationship. The person who accepts that the true human freedom consists in living inspired by the ideal of unity and choose at all times so that leads toward he does not feel the owner of the home who helped found; respects it unconditionally, because it is the fruit of the Union with the loved one and possible source of new personal lives. When you think that there is nothing in the world just as surprising as the fact that two people can give rise to a new person - able to feel, wanting, think, develop projects, sacrifice for others, entertain beliefs and convert them into the momentum of your life...-, feels pierced by a strange shiver of emotion to be collaborating with the creative work of God.

This collaboration is linked with a maximum degree of joy. "With a sign must - writes the great philosopher Henri Bergson - the nature warns us that our goal has been achieved. This sign is joy. I say the joy and not the pleasure. The pleasure is no more than an artifice as imagined by nature to obtain of the living being the conservation of life; does not indicate the direction in which life is launched. But the joy always announced that life has triumphed, which has gained ground, which has brought a victory: all great joy has an accent triumphal" (5). There is no greater triumph that create and maintain a home where it is cultivated the personal love and gives life to new beings, to establish, so a incessant flow of love and generous service.
"A mystic Hindu was sleeping and dreamed that life was only joy; woke up and realized that life is nothing more service. Then began to serve and knew that only the service is joy" (6).

Notes:
(1)Cf. L'espace multidimensionnel, Les Presses de l'Université de Montréal, Montréal, 1971, p. 15.
(2)Cf. Time, space and gravitation, Cambridge, 1920, p. 202.
(3)Cf. Divorce. Problem or Solution?, Edicep, Valencia 2001
(4)Cf. Ethos und Ideal in der Erziehung, Schönstatt Vallendar-Schönstatt, 1972, p. 186.
(5)Cf. L'énergíe spirituelle, PUF, Paris 321944, p.23.
(6)Cf. Jose Maria Cabodevilla: Letter of Charity, BAC, Madrid 1966, pp. 270-277.

 






Share on Google+




Inappropriate ads? |

Another one window

Hello!