At the age of 12, I knew I could have sex, but just I needed to be safe
Author: R. T. | Source: Option V
I remember the day my second grade teacher (I was 7 years old) explained how it was that we were coming to the world. He sweated a lot and seemed a bit nervous, looking for the best way to explain what happened intercourse between our parents, of which we were the fruit.
At eight years I heard about contraception. Although not quite understand about sex, I knew I had to take care with those pills or condoms although I did not care much because I was still very small for such things. But gradually the bombing grew.
I remember when I was in third grade my older brother for three years (sixth grade) had to do extensive work on contraception. For his work he sought many cuts and advertising, and even asked my dad, had given him a condom to paste into your work. They made me believe that this was as good as saying "no" to drugs.
At ten years, without yet fully understanding sex, I knew that if I was not "caring" I could take a "morning after pill". Anyway, do not use a condom because you got pregnant and thus, ruin my life.
Finally, entering adolescence (at 12), everything started to get complicated for me. It was very clear that she could have sex but only had to take care of myself. It was very natural, and I seemed extremely stupid pregnant girls coming out when there were so many ways to prevent it.
My parents agreed with contraception and we talked about them as something positive. It seemed they felt like they were saving our life and my brother would get condoms. I and my sisters were a little leery because they are women. The truth is that all this teaching received about condoms and contraceptives sowed in me the idea of debauchery, sex was merely pleasure and did not have to be ashamed if I did my twelve years.
At school, in eighth grade (at age 13) we got in school a compulsory subject by law, "health education". In it they explained about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and how bad they could be if we were protecting. Overall, though I thought that since sex was natural in adolescence and that at some point "would happen," I was scared because I did not want to get sick or "pregnant" through carelessness or because the condom failed. With that began a great fear of sex. She saw it as something good, desirable but dangerous at the same time. I began to feel myself decontrol between fear and desire, and took much of my day thinking about the pleasure he could give me.
For my 14 years I had had three lovers. All the boys were my age. The first at 8, was practically a fooling around. The second was to my 13 and next to my 14 years. With these two last already the subject of sex was a common theme, but it was not something you talk about. In none of the cases I relented because it was not serious. However, I do not know how I would have reacted if I had been asked to front, as I know some girls that age and their love they ask. I guess in my case he would have time, but at that time the fight was just myself, in my mind and fantasy.
At that age (14 years) I started going to classes and reading the First Communion Catechism, I understood that what I was thinking was not right. For the first time heard something different, telling me that everything was not as good as we did believe! It was then I decided to try to control my thoughts and actions, but only desire was not enough. It was a daily struggle with myself and with my body. I heard a man's story of how good it had felt after offering to pray a daily rosary to the Virgin. I started doing it and asked for many forces and control. A week later I felt totally different, it was not a fight but a motivation, and it was as if the Virgin Mary had bathed me in its purity and chastity.
Chastity is not only abstain or restrain, but to live in God's grandeur of purity. It´s an indescribable feeling which only fits the idea of a pure love and truly free, your thoughts are different because you pass the physical to the emotional. Dating is no longer "that thing that can hurt me" but a respectful relationship that can make us grow both him and me.
The long explanation I have given about the effect it had on me is the early explanation about contraception and "its essential use" is not for you to know about my life, but to understand the damage that can cause us children and teenagers when we "reports" about these things even without saying "have sex" without giving adequate moral guidance. Sex education that teaches us and as children, in an effort to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs, which are causing more cases of unwanted pregnancies and greater spread of STDs by increased sexual activity among young people.
Clearly, by giving us a condom or pill we are not saying "wait" but we are saying, "Have sex, do not mind waiting, just take care of yourself." Given this conditioning of children and adolescents, it´s our responsibility to offer another perspective and help from small to really love.
Let us turn to God and cherish in which He will help us. If they fail again to rise. He never tires of forgiving and not get tired to ask for forgiveness. God has someone willing to each of us, pray for that person although not yet know or do not know if the boyfriend or girlfriend you have is one with which they you will share the rest of your lives.
For me the Virgin Mary is like a role model as a woman. San Jose was also a pure man who knew how to love and respect his wife, he can get much help to the boys. Chastity can be difficult but for me it became much easier to go of the hand of Jesus and the Virgin Mary. If you still have doubts or sometimes feel that what they are doing is stupid, ask for strength to God: He is always there, in good times and bad. Do not stop praying and in truth I recommend the Rosary prayer with faith, accompany her on this path whatever it takes.
T. R., Venezuela, 19 years.