If you want to break up with your girlfriend, sleep with her
Author: Peter Trevijano | Source: ReL
Anyone with minimal contact with young people know what they are greatly extended the full premarital sex among young people. Social, cultural and especially environmental conditions today are unsympathetic to premarital chastity. Most young people have not received proper religious and moral instruction and sex education has been reduced to a mere instruction on how to prevent pregnancy and disease. For me no doubt, and that's my experience of confessor for many years, that the consequences are simply disastrous.
Indeed from the religious point of view we must not forget that "God is Love" (1 Jn 4.8 to 16), and as sin is the opposite of love, which isn´t conducive to sin and leads to happiness. Moral also remembers that something is not good or bad because they are prohibited, but is commanded because it´s good and is prohibited because it´s bad. The Catholic Church teaches that the site of sex and full sexual communion is marriage, because "should be within the framework of marriage every genital act" (Declaration of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith "Human Person", No. 7). In addition the couple "should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that conjugal love" (Catechism of the Catholic Church, No. 2350). This moral guidance assumes that the relationship between the sexes can only give good results when it´s true, when body language is really an expression of a personal gift without reservation. "Consequently sexuality, by which man and woman give themselves to each other with their own unique acts of the spouses, is not something purely biological, but concerns the innermost being of the person as such" ( exhortation of John Paul II's "Familiaris Consortio," No. 11).
From a human standpoint, the leapfrogging is not convenient. These sexual experiences, especially among young people, are in danger of blocking their emotional development toward maturity. When used to live sexuality to the simple level of pleasure, one becomes progressively unable to experience it, even later, as a compromise. If the sexual encounter is just an egocentric, impulsive search, one becomes unable to feel as delivery and acceptance of the other, which cannot live as a loving project and long-term loyalty. To do things in their proper time.
Intimate relationships require mutual commitment, because each person gives much of himself. Full sexual relationship should express the presence of full, ripe, full and definitive love, and if not, is wrong ethically, as an act which is the highest possible expression of love, should not take place between two people, even if they are currently attached, they have not yet taken the step of exclusive delivery. In dating the physical act takes place in the present, while personal donation will take place in the future: "I will marry you."
Premarital delivery is not complete, only partial, easily remaining in mere self-satisfaction, so it´s not uncommon friendship in the couple is strengthened, but it is damaged. Although apparently the previous coexistence seems that should lead to greater stability of marriage, knowing both what is their life together, we find that a study in Spain's Centre for Sociological Research (CIS) entitled Survey Fertility and Family 1995, confirmed by other studies and statistics France, Sweden and the United States, notes that among women born in the late 60s, have been separated in the first five years of marriage, including previously cohabited, a quarter , and those who married directly without previous cohabitation, slightly less than four percent. That is, previous cohabitation, with their sex, impairs the stability of the couple and future marriage.
The reasons for this are personal insecurity, fear of failure and loneliness itself, ignorance of the deep sense of love, and above all a moot concept of marriage in which the religious dimension is absent. It´s a lack of commitment, determination and risk, which ignores or disregards the help of grace, substantially vitiate interpersonal love, and makes at the slightest difficulty, as there is no capacity for sacrifice, the loving relationship collapses relationship. In any case, it´s not exactly an unconditional love. And it´s that "human love does not tolerate the test. It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another "(Catechism ..., No. 2391).
The worst thing about this relationship is that the couple, both men and women, having had multiple partners with whom the first thing they have done is go to bed, they find they are reaching a certain age, without regular partner and no possibility of forming a family. A disaster that has led them to this conception of sexuality that says this is at the service of pleasure and no love, mistake they are paying dearly for many of our young people today.