Intimacy and Sexuality
Author: Dora Tobar, PHD | Source: Por tu matrimonio
The essential characteristic of married love is your total delivery condition of life, for the purpose of constituting a community of people who give mutual security, pleasure, companionship, comfort and support. So the kind of intimacy that this delivery includes the donation of free and joyous of our bodies through sexual intimacy, but are not only limited to it. What's more, the degree of complementarity and Benefits of sexuality has to do with the degree of intimacy the couple has reached in different aspects of his life. That is, with the level of communication, trust, respect, delicate treatment and solidarity and mutual support in their daily living.
It can therefore say that, except for the limitations that sometimes a disease or a biological dysfunction can bring to sex life, the vast majority of problems faced by couples in bed, has to do with privacy in the daily life. For example, it´s very difficult for the wife to be attracted and willing to give their all in the evening, to husband who during the day has done nothing but criticize or offend her, or saw her tired and gave him a hand in household chores.
Most of the problems faced by couples in bed, has to do with privacy or treatment in daily life.
To improve the level of intimacy, a couple must therefore take into account at least the following:
Privacy is acceptance: We accept our spouse when we feel that, even knowing its flaws and limitations, both of character and physical, she or he, is the most important person in our lives and therefore, can always count on us. This is demonstrated through the care with which we hear, through the words of comfort that we give, through interest and concern to express to know how the other person feels, and how, even when we manifest our disagreements, we do not judge the other's intentions.
Privacy is trust: trust isn´t something you can demand but a reality that is born spontaneously between two feel accepted. But trust can grow. To this end, it´s necessary from an act of fundamental faith: believing that at no time the other has the explicit intention to offend or hurt us. This attitude of trust in the good intentions of the other and in their basic goodness is crucial for an open dialogue between couples of both level differences of opinion or modes of action, as the preferences that we have intimate level.
Lack of confidence may instead hamper all levels of communication both emotional and physical. I know for example couples who feel very uncomfortable in the privacy because your spouse has bad breath and is worth to tell. This has led her to develop a great reluctance and distaste for sexuality and her husband does not know what is happening and think you no longer want her.
Thanks to the trust, couples should be able to say what they like more and caress instead what they don´t like or satisfying them. In short, trust creates complicity and friendship that is required between two good lovers and that makes them companions forever.
That confidence should be able to also give the couple the freedom both to suggest a relationship as to refuse her because she doesn´t feel like it, without this leading other to think they are rejecting or who do not love.
And when, over the years, sexual intimacy is not that prime, trust can keep the couple the degree of unity through which experienced no secrets between the two; that the spouse can address even the most difficult issues as feelings about relationship with your family or work problems, even our dilemmas of conscience.
Privacy is tenderness. Tenderness is composed of generous gestures or words with which a person cherishes not only the body but also the soul of the other person. That is, admiring glances, that yawing eye, that uplifting our spouse; are flowers with which we want to tell someone: "Today I thought especially of you"; It´s the embrace of comfort or company you receive your partner after a day of work. They can also be the "compliments" or phrases of flattery that although time passes and the mirror watchable deterioration, make your partner feel that we admire and love. Finally, the power of tenderness is such that we can say that is the largest and best aphrodisiac, not only because it motivates caresses, but because it keeps the love couple.
For all this it´s clear that "making love" is much more than going to bed. It is to develop in all aspects of communication and coexistence delivery possibilities and intimacy which God has made us capable, and with his grace can always improve.
More on this topic can be viewed at: Liliana Alba Jaramillo, who are looking for solutions in the sexual. Readings that may help: Zig Ziglar, How to make the romance does not die with marriage. Standard Ed., 1991; Harville Hendrix Friends and lovers: the ideal partner relationship. Editorial Norma 1991.