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Educate for Life
To train the young people is an exciting task: work that God himself has delegated primarily on parents


Author: A. Villar | Source: http://www.sontushijos.org



To train the young people is an exciting task: work that God himself has delegated primarily on parents. Delicate work and strong, patient and cheerful, not exempt of confusion, which leads so many times to turn to the Lord, in search of light.

Educate is an artist work who brings out the potentialities that reside in each one of their children: help to discover the importance of caring about others and to teach creators of truly human relations, to overcome the fear of commitment ... Train, in short, to each and every one so you can respond to the project of God on their lives.

There always be difficulties and environmental aspects that can be improved, St. Josemar encourages parents to keep the young hearts, to make it easier to receive with sympathy the noble aspirations and even the extravagance of the boys.

The life changes, and there are many new things that perhaps we do not like - it is even possible that are not objectively better than others before - but which are not bad: are simply other ways of living, without more significance. In not a few occasions, conflicts appear because it gives importance to small things, that can be overcome with a little perspective and sense of humor.

We are assuming that in the difficult task of educating we can always improve, and that there is no perfect education: until the errors are learns. It is worth taking the time to update our training with a clear objective: we educate for life.




Authority and freedom

When parents, confusing happiness with welfare, focus their efforts on ensuring that their children have all, that will pass as best as possible and that they do not suffer any contradiction, they forget that what is important is not just wanting to much to children - that already commonly occur- but them well. And, objectively, is not a good for them that are all done, they do not have to fight.

The struggle and the effort that entails are essential to grow, to mature, to appropriate personal existence and direct it with freedom, without succumbing uncritically to any external influence.

At the same time that there will always be difficulties and environmental aspects that can be improved, St. Josemar encourages parents to keep their heart young, to make it easier to receive with sympathy the noble aspirations and even the extravagance of the boys.

The life changes, and there are many new things that perhaps we do not like - it is even possible that are not objectively better than others before - but which are not bad: are simply other ways of living, without more significance. In not a few occasions, conflicts appear because it gives importance to small things, that can be overcome with a little perspective and sense of humor.

We are assuming that in the difficult task of educating we can always improve, and that there is no perfect education: until errors are learns. It is worth taking the time to update our training with a clear objective: we educate for life.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church recalls that ignore the real situation of man, his wounded nature, gives rise to serious errors in the education[2]. Count with the original sin and its consequences - weakness, inclination to evil and therefore need to fight against oneself, expire - is indispensable to train people free.

A child or young person, abandoned to the tastes and inclinations of its nature, falls on an inclined plane that ends killing the energies of their freedom. If that trend was not offset by a requirement that is adequate to each age, causing fight, will have after serious difficulties to carry out a project of life that is worthwhile.

Wanting to fine to children is put in a position to achieve dominion over themselves: to make them free people. To do this, there is no denying the need to set boundaries and enforce rules, which not only meet the children but also the parents.

Educate is also propose virtues: selflessness, industriousness, loyalty, sincerity, cleaning..., presenting them in an attractive way, but at the same time without lowering its demand. To motivate children to do things well, but without exaggeration, without dramatize when they arrive the failures, teaching them to get experience. Encourage them to aim noble goals, without supplying them in the effort. And, above all, it is necessary to promote self-reliance, the fight; a self discipline which should not be presented as an end in itself but as a means to learn how to act correctly with independence of the parents.

The child, the young, still does not understand the meaning of many obligations. To meet its natural lack of experience need firm supports: people who, having gained their confidence, advise with authority. You need, in particular, to rely on the authority of parents and teachers who cannot forget that part of their role is to teach the children to cope with freedom and responsibility.

As St. Josemar used to say, parents who love of truth, that sincerely seek the good of their children, after the councils and the appropriate considerations, have to retire with delicacy so that nothing detrimental to the great good of freedom, which makes man capable of loving and serving God.

The authority of the fathers to the children did not come from a rigid and authoritarian nature; it is based rather on the good example: in the love that you have the spouses, in the unity of approach that children see in them, in their generosity, in the time devoted to them, in the love - love demanding- they show, in the tone of Christian life that give the home; and also, on the clarity and confidence with which they are treated.

This authority must be exercised with strength, valuing what is reasonably required in each age and situation; with love and with firmness; without letting himself be overcome by a affection poorly understood, that could lead to avoid upsetting the children above all and that, in the long run, would lead to a passive attitude and capricious.

Hides a great comfort - and sometimes a great lack of responsibility - in whom, formed in authority, fleeing the pain of correct with the excuse to prevent the suffering of others (...)[4]. It is the parents who must guide, combining authority and understanding. Let the whims of the children come to govern the house indicates sometimes the comfort of avoiding awkward situations.

With patience, agrees to make them see when have wrongdoing. So you also forming his conscience, leaving no opportunity pass to teach to distinguish good from evil, what must be done and avoid. With reasoning suited to their age, Iran giving account of the things that are pleasing to God and to others and why.

Mature assumes exit oneself, and this entails sacrifices. The child, at the beginning, is focused on his world; they grow to the extent that he understands that he is not the center of the universe, when it begins to open to the reality and others.

This involves learning to sacrifice themselves for their brothers, to serve, to fulfill their obligations in the home, the school and with God; it also involves obey; renounce the vagaries; endeavor not displeasing their parents... Is an itinerary that nobody can travel alone. The mission of parents is to get the best out of them, although sometimes hurt a little.

With love, with imagination and strength, they must be helped to gain a solid and balanced personality. With time, the children also will understand with more depth the meaning of many behaviors, prohibitions or mandates of their parents, which then might seem somewhat arbitrary; it will be filled with gratitude, also by those clear words or moments of greater severity - not the fruit of the IRA, but of love - that then made them suffer. In addition, will have learned themselves to educating future generations.

Educate for Life to

educate is to prepare for life, a life that ordinarily is not exempt from difficulties: usually have to strive to achieve any goal in the professional field, human or spiritual. Why then this fear that the children feel frustrated when they lack any means material?

Will have to learn what it costs to earn a living and living together with people of greater intelligence, fortune, or social prestige; address shortcomings and limitations, material or human; take risks, if you want to tackle companies that deserve the penalty; and deal with failure, without this leading to the collapse staff.

The eagerness to help the way, to prevent the slightest stumble, far from causing a well, they weakens and cripples them to face the difficulties that encounter in college, on the job or in the relationship with the other. Only learn to overcome obstacles tackling.

There is no need for the children have all, neither of which is held at the time by giving in to their whims. On the contrary, they must learn to give and to expect:? Is it not true that in life there are many things that can wait and other that must necessarily expect? In fact, Benedict XVI says that "we must not depend on the material property; we must learn renunciation, simplicity, austerity and sobriety."[5].

An excess of protection to take away the son of any opposition leaves him defenseless against the environment; this protectionist attitude contrasts dramatically with the true education.

The term educate derives from the Latino voices e-ducere and e-ducare. The first etymology is associated with the action of provide values that lead to the full development of the person. The second is indicative of the action to remove from it the best that you can give of itself, to the mode that makes the artist when removed from the block of marble a beautiful sculpture. In any of the two meanings, the freedom of the student plays a decisive role.

Instead of maintaining a protectionist attitude, it is desirable that the parents to provide children the opportunity to take decisions and assume their consequences, so that they can resolve their small problems with effort. In general, you should promote situations that promote their personal autonomy, priority objective of any educational task. At the same time, it must be borne in mind that such autonomy should be proportional to their ability to exercise it; it would not make sense to give them some economic means or materials that do not yet know use with caution; or leave them alone to the TV or surfing the internet; nor would it be logical to ignore what the videogames that have.

Teach responsibility is the other side of educating in freedom. The eagerness to justify everything they do makes it difficult to feel responsible for their mistakes, depriving them of a real appreciation of their acts, and as a consequence an indispensable source of knowledge and experience. If, for example, instead of helping them to assume a low school performance has been blamed on the teachers or to the academic institution, will be built in them an unreal mode to cope with life: only would feel responsible for what is good, while any failure or error would be caused from outside.

It feeds on this way a habitual attitude of complaint, which lays the blame on the always system or to colleagues; or a tendency to self-pity and to the search of compensation that leads to the immaturity.

 

Educate always

all these approaches are not specific to adolescence or stages especially intense in the life of a child. Parents - in one way or another- educate always. Their performances are never neutral or indifferent, although the children have few months of life. Precisely is nothing strange the figure of the small tyrant, the child from 4 to 6 years that imposes at home the law of their whims, overflowing the ability of parents to educate.

But the parents not only educate always but must also educate forever. There would be little point in education which is limited to resolve the situations of the moment, if you forget your future projection. At stake is to endow them with the necessary personal autonomy. Without it would be at the mercy of all types of dependencies. Some more visible, such as those related with the consumerism, sex, or drugs; and other subtler, but no less important, such as the from some ideologies of fashion.

It must be borne in mind that the time that the children remain in the family home is limited. What is more, even during that period, the time that it takes to the margin of the parents is much higher than actual coexistence with them. But that time is most precious. Many people are today with serious difficulties to be with their children, and this is certainly one of the causes of some situations that we have described.

Indeed, when you see little children, becomes much more difficult to demand: in the first place because it ignores what they do and not are well-known; and also because it can be done very uphill bitter with uncomfortable demands the scarce moments of family coexistence. Nothing can make up for the presence in the household.


Trust

the authority of parents depends a lot on the affection that perceive the children cash. Feel truly dear when ordinarily be given attention and interest, and when they see that an effort is made to dedicate time.

In this context it can help them with authority and with wisdom: when you know their concerns, the difficulties with the study or with friends, the environments they frequent; when you know in what used their time; when you see how react, what they pleased or saddens them; when we detect their victories or defeats.

Children, adolescents and young people need to talk without fear with their parents. How much it moves forward with its training when we have ensured that there is communication and dialog with our children! San Josemar so advised: Advise always to parents who seek to become friends with their children. You can harmonize perfectly parental authority, that the same education requires, with a sense of friendship, which means putting ourselves in some way to the same level of the children.

Boys - even those that seem more fractious and detached- always want that close brotherhood with their parents. The key is usually on the confidence: that parents know educate in a climate of familiarity, that do not give the impression that never distrust, which give freedom and to teach managed with personal responsibility.

It is preferable to be fooled once: the trust that is placed in the children, makes shame to themselves of having abused, and corrected; in contrast, if you are not free, if they see that you do not trust in them, will feel moved to always cheat[6].

You must constantly nourish this atmosphere of confidence, always believing what they say, without misgivings, not allowing ever to create a distance so great that it becomes difficult to close.

The assistance of professionals of the education in schools or institutions to those who attend our children can be of great help: in the tutorship or perception children can receive a personal training invaluable. But this work of advice you must not remove the protagonist to the parents. And this takes time, dedication, think of them, search for the appropriate time, to accept their forms, give confidence...

It is important to invest strong by the family; remove time where appears not have, and make the most of it. Puts a lot of selflessness and not a few times will involve large sacrifices, which in some cases may even affect the economic position. But the professional prestige well understood is part of something larger: the human and Christian prestige, in which the good of the family is situated above the successes of labor. The dilemmas, sometimes apparent, which can arise in this field, must be resolved from the faith and in prayer, seeking the will of God.


The virtue of hope is very necessary in the parents. Educate the children produces many satisfactions, but also troubles and worries are not small. No need to get carried away by feelings of failure, whatever happens. On the contrary, with optimism, with faith and hope, you can always to start afresh. No effort will be in vain, although it may seem that arrives late or are not the results.
The fatherhood and motherhood never completed. The children are always in need of prayer and love of their parents, also when they are independent. Santa Maria did not abandon Jesus on Calvary. Your example of devotion and sacrifice until the end can illuminate this exciting task which God entrusts to mothers and fathers. Educate for Life: task of love.

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[1] San Josemar, talks, n. 100.
[2] Cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 407.
[3] San Josemar, talks, n. 104.
[4] San Josemar, Furrow, n. 577
[5] Benedict XVI, Audience 27 May 2009
[6] San Josemar, talks, n. 100.

 




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