Knowing Christ the Bridegroom as a Married Woman
Author: Bonnie Engstrom | Source: ignitum today
About eighteen months into my marriage I was assessing my spiritual life when I realized something: while I had a wonderful relationship with God the Father and was quite drawn to God the Spirit, my relationship with God the Son was hurting. As a young mom I identified with the Father and wondered if He ever felt as frustrated as I did as a parent. Motherhood allowed me to better understand Childhood and I found myself calling on the Holy Spirit much more than I had ever before.
But Christ? He was tricky and I didn’t know where He fit in my life anymore.
Before I got married I had a great relationship with Jesus the Nazarene. I fully understood Him as my Bridegroom and I was in love. Prayer was easy and Adoration was a joy – seeing Him face to Face. I read Song of Songs with Him in mind and every Mass was a reminder of the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. But then, well, I suppose He got replaced. Slowly we drifted away since I now had a bridegroom in the flesh and I wasn’t quite sure how to have that kind of relationship with two men.
As I left behind my newlywed stage life brought me struggles and I found deep comfort in the arms of Christ, hidden in His wounds, joining in His suffering, worshiping Him as my God, honoring Him as my Savior. Much like my marriage, the loss of the initial giddiness left me wondering what was wrong but soon enough I discovered that my relationship had more trust, more fidelity, and more love than it ever had before. I just couldn’t recognize it because I’d never experienced such a mature love before.
I thought love was leaping gazelles and swoon-worthy dates. That’s part of it, and a fun part too!
Christ my Savior and the Lover of my soul, humbled and on His way to death. For me.