carico cordarone metronidazole for candida prazosin 3 mg brand of azithromycin 2 g india septra ds having cramps voltaren dolo forte emulgel in germany ratiopharm gabapentin 800 mg street price oba ciprovloxacin amoxicillin trihydrate for chlamydia cialis and ambien women generic allegra d 24 hour walmart pastillas piroxicam 20 mg can i buy amoxicillin online safely micardis cost australia amoxicillin past 10 days side effects of amoxicillin 500mg in pregnancy bactrim for uti treatment fluconazole dosis 50 mg obat keputihan how much seroquel overdose valtrex 500 mg tablet ciprofloxacin 1000 metformin 500 mg tablet relon chem buy cialis 40 mg online buy buspar online cheap can you take wellbutrin with paxil ampicillin tr 250 mg decadron compresse 0 5 mg flagyl 400mg dosage in pregnancy can i buy clomid over the counter in south africa buy anastrozole generic prednisone mims australia free cialis samples canada para k sirve amlodipine besylate 2.5mg celebrex breastfeeding amaryl m forte 2mg side effects amoxicillin eg 1000 mg misoprostol in one month pregnancy drug classification of wellbutrin took 1 200 mg tablet of prometrium and stopped famciclovir vs valacyclovir shingles proscar lek za prostatu albuterol nebulizer safe for 7 month baby how long does cipro continue to work after last dosage elevated coumadin level icd 9 code albuterol sulfate cialis singapore buy clomid clomiphene difference cialis overnight pharmacy amoxicillin 250 mg for strep throat cytotec 200 mcg uses gabapentin 300 mg en espanol phenergan for big 7mth old prednisone blister pack prednisone side effects lyphocytes how often should i use ketoconazole novale lotion como tomar una dosis de 6 pastillas cytotec mirtazapine 15mg para dormir doxycycline monohydrate vs hyclate mircette tab 28 day tamoxifen side effects back pain quetiapine dementia uk valsartan generic philippines imipramine 25 mg en espanol aturan pakai nexium sertraline 20 mg can you smoke cigarettes while on celexa albuterol sulfate non prescription target cost of lisinopril 10 mg chlamydia cipro dosage over the counter antibiotics for ringworm price of tamoxifen in nigeria can i take amoxicillin for white spots in tonsils metronidazole gel 7 days street value of neurontin 800mg 35 mg prednisone side effects priligy 30 mg kaufen when does pcos symtoms subsides on metformin treatmment efek samping dexamethasone sodium phosphate gabapentin and stretchmarks terbinafine dogs seizure can i take 875mg augmentin for folliculitis voltaren pillendose NEOHAIRINDO.COM kamagra 100mg oral jelly australia voltaren online no prescription ppt on digoxin amlodipine besylate dose y tube escitalopram 10 mg can affect pregnancy azithromycin 4 dollar list phenergan 4mg buy levitra using paypal liquid albuterol and weight loss zoloft start up side effects how to buy cialis from canada digoxin0.25mg tablets cost metronidazole for dogs is metronidazole 500 mg bitter tasting dosage of doxycycline for racing pigeon accutane cost south africa how much is the antibiotic bactrim ds purchase flagyl uk will my urine change using metronidazole 500 how long does it take wellbutrin appetite suppressant sildenafil actavis 100mg film coated tablets symptoms of prednisone withdrawal citalopram 20mg price uk cytotec no hizo efecto bactrim forte e coli sperma zithromax 250 mg tablets for giardia in dogs tenormin 75 mg does kamagra l cream work gained weight on bactrim can people on coumadin and eat cake made with molasses naproxen al 500 mit methadon IMAJJI.COM bactrim and sibo in dogs natural viagra without side effects furosemide cost uk buy nolvadex from canada generic name for clonidine hydrochloride buy viagra uk citalopram 20 mg ajuda a emagrecer antibiotic brands for cough philippines real price of prednisone steroind 50mg in philippines glucophage mechanism can you take nexium with carvedilol 3.125 terbinafine tablets cats ivermectin 0 1 spot on is it safe to take metronidazole powder linezolid 600 mg tablet is medicine men taking clomid success medicamento gabapentin usp 300 how long is the shelf life of doxycycline montelukast levocetirizine dosage can 4 clonidine get u high generic metronidazole lotion canine prednisone skin rash side effect synthroid 75 mg weight loss doxycycline for std is inderal safe for asthmatics what is safe dose what is viagrarock street vaule of mobic bactrim ds vs amoxicillin is 40mg of prednisone good for lichen planus flagyl gas x interaction lisinopril and sun sensitivity clomid and bbt charting price of levitra clonidine 100mg how much does levitra cost per pill at cvs how long does cialis 5mg daily take to work fexofenadine 180 mg tablets looks like what is metformin derived from does taking olanzapine with green tea harmful to health doxycycline 200 mg side effects how long does thrush take to go away after fluconazole can you buy zithromax over the counter in europe pastillas abortivas misoprostol en.queretaro can amoxicillin be used to treat hemorrhoids can you buy androgel without a prescription in italy saan makakabili ng cytotec sa quiapo singulair 4 mg costo can i take simvastatin with cialis buspirone pbs australia propranolol cost without insurance acyclovir dosage for stomatitis 800mg sertraline 250 mg insomnia warfarin sodium 4mg how much time fluconazole needs to work leg cramps while weaning off prednisone can you get high off mirtazapine 15 mg is it alright to take doxycycline after amoxicillin ampicillin 1 gram vial package insert can i take 5mg of klonopin with 100 mg neurontin buy zyprexa zydis order premarin from canada can you take amoxicillin400mg with claratin amitriptyline. vs tylenol 3 for pain indole 3 versus arimidex will terbinafine treat eczema apa itu ubat misoprostol buy zithromax azithromycin zithromax how long does priligy dapoxetine last for levitra 20 mg 4 film tablet fiyat?± is 400 mg of prometrium too much can you take klonopin and quetiapine fumarate together co fluvoxamine 100 mg prazosin 500mg buying cialis online forum seroquel 300 milligram fungsi obat feldene flash piroxicam average what age men take viagra contraindications between caffeene and olanzapine levothyroxine 88 mg purchase prednisone and teeth use lamisil once zoloft and breast size precio misoprostol zaragoza can i split lisinopril 10 mg in half xenical sold in stores doxycycline for intestional inections propranolol 80mg and ibuprofen 20 mg can u get pregnant with dry mucus on clomid cialis 20 mg prices bupropion hcl xl side effects clomid 250mg fertility como debe comerdespues de tomar la dexamethasone which medication is better than strattera how much amoxicillin for ear infection 18 month old levofloxacin price walgreens diflucan single dose price kenya albuterol inhaler generic no prescription needed lexapro 5mg 5ml prednisone steroid effect with levothyroxine alternative herbal medicine to montelukast order zovirax ointment canada propranolol 160 mg amoxicillin syrup conc in egypt mirtazapine in kenya 8 dpo symptoms of pregnancy after clomid is adalat la a anticholinergic linezolid does it kill mrsa fosamax 40 mg nite rider taking cialis and viagra together raina.aap ki adalat ma part 2 metformin 850 mg good effect clomid south africa online pharmacy zovirax cream etodolac 400 mg tablet tev sertraline 50mcg cause weigh loss diclofenac diethylammonium on scrotum proventil j code kamagra oral jelly price india orlistat 60mg antibiotics of gonorrhea with their prices in pakistan acyclovir 400 mg tablet singapore available doxycycline frequent urination what is the street value of citalopram hbr 40 mg buy meloxicam for dogs zithromax cost no insurance was ciprofloxacine 500 hc acid reflux after lamisil inderal retard mitis 80 mg migraine IMAJJI.COM is anal sore an effect of nizoral tablet cuantas pastillas trae la caja d cytotec olanzapine 7.5mg tablets buy viagra uk tesco buying viagra in turkey what is gabapentin composed of is it safe to give dog albuterol for congestion buy propecia no rx mix viagra with roxy drinking made chlamydia symptoms worse azithromycin orlistat 120 mg availability hydroxyzine renaudin 100 mg why does fluconazole decrease my sugar cravings lisinopril 80mg itchy throat cuanto tarda en hacer efecto el bupropion generic viagra 20mg amoxicillin conversion from mexico how many treatments of albuterol for 7 year old citalopram stomach gurgling precio de pastillas cytotec en farmacias del ahorro ciprofloxacin mexico name lisinopril w 942 citalopram hydrobromide 20 mg recreational propranolol without lactose premarin 0.45 online furosemide heart palpitations cheapest generic viagra and cialis doxycycline in biochemistry voltaren cream for back pain walmart canada wiki provera 500 mg levitra generic equivalent terbinafine online uk viagra prices uae is amoxicillin same as ospexin canadian pharmacy no prescription viagra how often to take 40mg of nexium doxycycline for bronchitis walking pneumonia how much prednisone dose for dogs with snake bite fluconazole incontinence gamot na cytotec bactrim side effects wear off acyclovircancer de la prostate i bleeded after taking ciprotab on an empty stomach how much tylenol can i take with 1000mg of valacyclovir nizoral 1 shampoo reviews does zithromax kill chlamyida in 5 use does bavtrim ds. septra cause anxiety accutane 30 mg twice a day como conseguir misoprostol en la plata y cuanto esta acyclovir tabs 400mg ndc code voltaren retard 150 mg sildenafil citrate usp 31 how many trazodone to od will cipro cure ear infections and sore throat ciprofloxacin dosage for adults 300mg estradiol 586 zoloft withdrawal 6 weeks feeling jittery on second day of 25 mcg of thyroxine nexium 20 mg precio en estados unidos pot belly pigs bactrim bacterial infection safe to take mucinex and topamax otitis media bactrim dosing is buspirone hcl ototoxic paroxetine 25 mg side effects tamsulosina capsulas 0.4 mg remeron 60 mg dosage cyproheptadine 4 mg cats side effects is ip safe to take flagyl and miconazole cream why does my head feel weird when i skip doses zoloft topamax 300 price of flagyl 500 mg one drink a day and remeron tetracycline mg dosage for uti can take sildenafil with tramadol generic levitra available nexium total sales takeing ambian and baclofen at same time metronidazole 250 mg tablet side effects topamax 75 mg for weight loss generic viagra sildenafil 100mg long term dosage lasix how does amoxicillin help in ivf fdc montelukast levocitrizine brand name take cymbalta in morning or evening hydroxyzine 100 mg metronidazole 500mg or 400mg for treating bv gabapentin show up as meth in urine prednisone 21 pack directions lamisil walgreen does lamisil cure herpes pet doxycycline clomid and a1c side effect of cyproheptadine ticholinecitrate sorb nexium capsules 40 mg from pakistan what does antibiotics 500mg do to you buy accutane 40 mg buspirone 15 mg reviews is 600 mgs of bupropion hcl sr to mubh to take priligy kopen belgie felodipine 5 mg er tablets order generic paxil online what does azithromycin liquid taste like how to use cytotec misoprostol 200 mcg for abortion tired of taking synthroid otc ciprofloxacin 500mg for dogs para que funciona taking azithromycin twice in one month topamax side effects osteoclasts how long does 20 mg lisinopril stay in you system misoprostol 200 mcg tablet cipla propranolol overdose foot fungus and valtrex anyone take clomid overcouter cytotec for induction tavanic levofloxacin campaign cefdinir interactions with lexapro fosfato de sitagliptin metformina clorhidrato 500 is levitra better than viagra forum best price for 40mg prozac side effects after how.long is.misoprostole.effective how to lose weight with bupropion zomax antibiotic half life

How can I learn to trust? /Part 1

How does one learn to trust, to be grateful when you only see the failures and hurts in life, how does one surrender and become humble?
by Fr John Bartunek, LC | Source: Roman Catholic Spiritual Direc

Q:  Dear Father John, I have felt a great desire to enter religious life for a few years now, but keep hitting an invisible wall so-to-speak. After attempting the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, the Lord helped me to see that I am not 'indifferent' and have to rebuild my foundation of a personal relationship with Him. In particular He helped me see my utter inability to surrender stemming from a lack of trust. Unfortunately, due to my lived experience of past hurts, I find myself unable to trust anyone, relying only on myself which is then projected onto God and I feel utterly stuck. I feel as though trust requires gratitude, but gratitude requires humility and being humble, seeing and accepting my weakness is utterly impossible when you have established a pattern of trusting only in yourself and so it is an endless cycle.

   Where does one go from here? How does one learn to trust, to be grateful when you only see the failures and hurts in life, how does one surrender and become humble? Is it all a pure gift from God, or is there more I can do on my end as I have been begging for these graces for years to no avail?

   Thank you for your wonderful blog which has been very fruitful!

A: Reading this question gives me deep joy. The grace you have already received is so beautiful! I mean, the grace of understanding the core of the spiritual life (trust) and your need for deep, spiritual rehabilitation in that area. God has been speaking his wisdom to your soul!! You actually bring up at least three separate but related issues. I will comment briefly on them one by one.

Trust: The Heart of Holiness

First, and most importantly, you bring up the issue of trust. However much of the Spiritual Exercises you completed, you can be sure that it was fruitful. The Exercises allow us to confront in a powerfully intimate and personal way the fundamental, universal truths of the spiritual life. The universal truth that struck you the most is the very core of the Christian journey: the need for trust. Sin separates us and distances us from God. All sin our own personal sins as well as the sins of others, both of which damage our souls traces its origin back to the Fall of Adam and Eve (that's why their sin is called "original sin"). What was the essence, the deepest core of their sin? We tend to think it was disobedience. Think again. You see, that disobedience was the trunk, but it grew out of an ever deeper root. Here's how the Catechism puts it (#397):

   Man, tempted by the devil, let his trust in his Creator die in his heart and, abusing his freedom, disobeyed God's command. This is what man's first sin consisted of. All subsequent sin would be disobedience toward God and lack of trust in his goodness [emphasis added].

   So rehabilitating trust in God is not only YOUR primary project for growth in holiness, but it is EVERY CHRISTIAN'S primary project! That's not to belittle your journey. Your experiences in life, good and bad, have damaged your capacity to trust in God in a personal, unique way. Your mission in life, your vocation, your way of knowing, loving and serving God is also personal and unique. And so, the path you take to rehabilitate your trust in God will have certain twists and turns, certain epiphanies and setbacks, that will be entirely your own. But, in the end, re-learning to trust God is for each one of us the central, defining spiritual project.

What To Do?

Now we are ready to face the second issue you bring up: "Where does one go from here?" I detect frustration in your question. That's totally understandable but it's also an indicator that something is askew. I think it has to do with expectations. You are wondering how you can develop trust when you don't have much. You are wondering how to develop gratitude when you don't have humility. You are wondering how to develop humility when you have formed such a strong and deep pattern of self-reliance.

   Let me answer your question with a question. Let's pretend you don't know how to play tennis, but you decide that you want to learn. How do you do it? How do you go from zero to beginner to intermediate to advanced? How do you develop the physical skills and coordination and muscle memory necessary for tennis, when you have none of those things? The answer, I think you will agree, is fairly simple. You learn to play tennis by playing tennis.

Holy Tennis

Growth in virtue (trust, confidence in God, surrender, humility, and gratitude) is similar.  Virtues are moral habits, just as like skills are physical habits. They are developed under two conditions. First, we need to have the raw material. Future tennis players have to have the normal use of all the major muscle groups (you can't play tennis without arms). Future saints have to have the normal use of human nature: "heart, soul, mind, and strength" as our Lord put it (Luke 10:27). From your question, it is clear that you have the raw material. Now you just need to begin to put it into action. Virtues are not developed "once and for all." We can never check a virtue off our "to-do" list. We grow in trust, little by little, by trusting. We grow in humility, little by little, by exercising self-denial. We grow in gratitude, little by little, by saying thank you, sincerely and intentionally, over and over again, especially when we don't feel like it. The sacraments nourish these efforts; prayer and spiritual reading/study informs and enlightens these efforts; the Holy Spirit directly, through a spiritual director or mentor, through faith-based friendships, and through God's Providence will coach you.

   St. John of the Cross put it succinctly when writing about the virtue of love (which is the core of every virtue, so it applies equally to trust, humility, gratitude): "Where there is no love, put love, and you will find love."

   As long as you are patient, even the tiniest effort to trust God will give God's grace a chance to touch your soul and strengthen the very trust that you are using. Remember, at Baptism you received sanctifying grace and the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and at Confirmation you received a strengthening of them. God is already at work in your life.  He is drawing you closer to him. The journey will take your whole life, so don't think that you have to make yourself perfect before God can do anything with you. On the contrary! God is already working in and through your life! Your desire to know and follow him better is already a clear sign that you are growing!

Two Time-Tested Trust Workouts
On a practical level, the saints all agree on two spiritual exercises that directly strengthen our capacity to trust God.

   First, meditating on Christ's Passion. As we gaze on Christ "loving us to the end" (John 13:1), our fears are quelled and we realize, gradually, that even though everyone else may have betrayed us and wounded us and lost their trustworthiness, Christ will never betray us. He is worthy of our trust. No matter what happens, he will keep on loving us. That's one of the core messages of the Passion. On this point, I would greatly encourage you to watch The Passion of the Christ, and go through it gradually, using Inside the Passion as a kind of study guide, or guide for meditating on this central mystery of our faith.

   Second, focus on discovering and embracing God's will in the nitty-gritty of your daily life. We know what God's will is through his Commandments, through the teachings of the Church, through the duties of our state in life, and through the circumstances of God's Providence. Lord, what do you want me to do right now? That question, that prayer, is a powerful ally in your path of growing trust. Because every time we accept and embrace, and try to fulfill, God's will, even with a fragile love and flimsy faith, we are actually exercising our trust in God. We are saying, "Okay Lord, I don't really understand this completely, but I know that you want me to do it, so here goes" That counts for simple tasks like washing the dishes. And it counts for more daunting tasks like talking about the faith or defending a Catholic position in a conversation at work. This is especially true when God's will contradicts our natural preferences. That's when we get to carry our own crosses, which is the privileged place for exercising, and therefore growing in, our trust in God.

   We have done some related posts on these issues that you may want to read or re-read: a two-part post on trusting in God, and a two-part post on discerning God's will.  If you keep those elements in play, you can be sure that you are making progress, regardless of how you may feel at any given moment.

Follow Your Call!!!
Finally, you mention at the beginning of your post that your trust issues have been "an invisible wall" in following what may be a vocation to the religious life. That may be a ruse of the devil. Being holy is not a requirement for entering religious life. In fact, a religious vocation, like any vocation, is actually, first and foremost, a specific path for growth in holiness. If your heart quickens at the thought of entering religious or consecrated life, you should act on it now. Visit religious congregations; speak with consecrated persons; keep taking whatever next step God puts in your mind until you discover your path. Don't rush, but don't delay! Maybe a good next step would be to finish the Spiritual Exercises retreat that you started (you mentioned that you "attempted" to do the Exercises sounds like you didn't finish!). If you like that idea, I can highly recommend my confreres' who preach Spiritual Exercises Retreats here. In any case, if God has put that question in your heart, you can be sure that doing what you can to answer that question will help put you on the fast track to greater intimacy with him, and that's what it's all about.

God bless you!

Click Here to Donate Now!

Join the new media evangelization. Your tax-deductible gift allows to build a culture of life in our nation and throughout the world. Please help us promote the Church's new evangelization by donating to right now. God bless you for your generosity.




Post a Comment
Write a comment on this article

Email required (will not be published)
required Country

Most Popular