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Just Show the Movie

A a movie dream.
by Jim Fair | Source:
I have a movie dream.  

In my dream (maybe more like a fantasy) I go the local theater and plunk down five bucks to see a film that is exciting, artistic and appropriate for an audience that includes my wife and children.

After I enter the lobby, I stop by the snack bar and buy a bag of popcorn and a soda for a couple bucks and go into the theater.

There I find a comfortable seat.  The lights are dim and classical music is playing.  The screen is dark.  At precisely the moment the theater schedule said the movie would start it starts.

Of course, this is when I wake up and realize none of this is real.  My real experience of going to see a movie is more like this…

I go to the local theater and plunk down 10 bucks to see the least offensive movie being offered.

After I enter the lobby, I stop by the snack bar and invest in a tub of popcorn and soda for a minimum of 10 bucks and go into the theater, the soles of my shoes sticking to the layer of popcorn butter and melted gummy bears that covers the floor.

Loud rock music blares from the mutli-speaker, turbo-charged quadra-aquatic sound system.  After a few failed efforts I find a chair without chewing gum on it and sit.

A series of inane trivia questions, promotions, and advertisements scream at me from the screen until the scheduled start time for the move arrives.  Then, I sit through several previews of coming attractions.  And although I’m assured that the previews have been approved for viewing by all audiences, it seems to me that some of them were intended for an audience of axe murderers.

After the previews, I finally get to see the movie.  And at that point, I’m reminded that the movie was the reason for being there in the first place.

I don’t think the theater in my dream really exists.  But it should.  And if it ever opens in my home town – or within a reasonable drive – I’ll be a regular customer.  I might even splurge and get a box of Milk Duds.

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