Lack of Love

The Love Guru: Thanks to my daughter’s taste in television programs I am able to save you from a terrible experience in your local movie theater.
by Jim Fair | Source:
My daughter, who is 16, likes fashion and cooking shows. Neither is much in line with my taste, but I’ll hang in their occasionally in pursuit of father/daughter bonding. So last night we were watching a program on cake baking on a channel I don’t normally dial.

In between the cake batter and butter frosting, a commercial ran for a soon-to-released movie, The Love Guru. The film stars Mike Myers as an American left in India as a baby and raised by gurus. He returns to America many years later to set up his own guru business and, apparently, to find romance and really sophomoric, potty jokes. At least that was the impression I got from the commercial.

When the commercial ended, I glanced at my daughter, who rolled her eyes. My wife was a few feet away, rolling her eyes. I don’t know whether I rolled my eyes; I was just mildly appalled, the commercial having presented the movie as a treasury of terrible gags, ethnic jokes and people running around in their underwear.

Just to be fair, I looked the movie up on the web and viewed the official trailer. It was similar to the commercial, except that instead of 60 seconds of dumb jokes and underwear, the trailer gives you a full two-and-a-half minutes.

The website I found didn’t say how long the movie is. I probably could have found out if I had done a little more research. But if I was disgusted by a 60-second preview and even more so by a couple minutes, I think I can safely advise you to avoid the whole thing (probably 90 minutes or more).

Now, I expect there are readers who will say it is terribly unfair of me to pan a movie I have not seen. I disagree.

Let’s say I go into a restaurant for dinner and order soup for an appetizer. The soup comes and it tastes awful and has a few hairs floating in it, I don’t think it would be unfair of me to leave before the main course arrives.

I’ve had a taste of The Love Guru. I don’t want the rest of this hairy meal.

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