|Anticipating Marriage Crisis|
| Por: Francisco Mario Morales | Fuente: Catholic.net|
All human coexistence must be based on (1) dialogue, (2) on communication and (3) mutual trust (4) on respect (5) and knowledge of the person, this must be the coexistence from the principle among peers, friends, boyfriends, and subsequently between spouses and parents. If this does not exist from the courtship the future will be very uncertain.
Not agreeing or discussing differences, is part of any relationship. It is also very important not to say yes to everything for fear of offending (or for insecurity), but to express with respect and timely disagreements at some point of view.
The discussions between couples should not be to seek guilty and defend their respective positions, sometimes aggressively where the important thing is to win the other, but to reconcile, find solutions and options for the common good. The objective of all discussion is that it must be constructive and in order to recognize and overcome the failures of both
It is very important to reflect that: Woman and man are two different but related and complementary human beings. We must consider that each human being is different from the others. Everyone should have the opportunity to develop freely, to make others happy and to be happy.
The true way of happiness is in the formation of freedom and responsibility, which is necessary to humanize and understand that "nobody can be happy without making others happy". That happiness is achieved with effort, tenacity and giving to others what one wants to receive. This is the magic formula of happiness. (FMM book: "Sexual education in family")
The woman and the man are the one for the other a <help> that is in front, that sustains, shares, communicates, excluding any form of inferiority or superiority, The equal dignity between man and woman does not admit any hierarchy and, at the same time, does not exclude the difference. The difference allows men and women to strengthen an alliance and the alliance makes them strong. It is taught in the book of Sirach 36, 26-27.
Both are necessary as air and water. Man and woman should avoid the snares of silence, distancing and incomprehension.
"To resolve their relationship problems, men and women should instead talk more, listen more, get to know each other, love each other more. They should be treated with respect and cooperate with friendship. With these human bases, sustained by the grace of God, it is possible to project the marriage and family union for all life. The marriage and family bond is a serious thing, it is for everyone, not only for believers. " (Pope Francisco)
A commentary on the Talmud notes that <God has not created the woman of the head of man for man to dominate; He did not create it from the feet to the feet so that it was subject to man, but he created it from the rib so that it was close to his heart>
God created man and woman equal in dignity but different: one male the other woman. The similarity together with the sexual difference allows the two to enter into creative dialogue, narrowing an alliance of life. (VII world meeting of families - Milan 2012)
"Neither man exists without the woman, nor the woman without the man. For although it is true that woman was formed of man, it is also true that man is born of woman; and everything has its origin in God "(1 Cor 11, 11-12)
In family life it is necessary to have the capacity and maturity to accept that all (men and women) make mistakes and that we are not infallible but perfectible.
Pope Francis indicated that "The social devaluation for the stable and generating alliance of men and women is certainly a loss for all" and therefore "how important it is to revalue marriage and family!".
Do not forget the Golden Rule: "Do with others as you want others to do with you" (Mt.7, 12). What families really need today is joy and inner peace, away from resentments, friendly smiles and with the effort of dad and mom to lead a quality life for all the members of the family.
For this it will be necessary to learn to control responsibly the emotions and impulses, to recognize their own mistakes and with humility to accept their own limitations and weaknesses, to learn to apologize. Because recognizing mistakes will never be an act of humiliation but of maturity and growth.
It is necessary to undertake as a family a permanent commitment against violence: No shouting, no physical and verbal aggressions, no disrespect for partners and children, willingness to collaborate in everything necessary to make a home habitable place in all aspects. Learn all members of the family to be responsible, tolerant thinking of others, being kind and grateful at all times. What is given to children they share with others. (The antidote to bullying / Author: Francisco Mario Morales | Source: Catholic.net)
Do not confuse family violence with family conflicts. The discussions, fights and differences of opinion are normal in interpersonal relationships, as long as they are not resolved violently.
Unimaginable situations happen every day in a home, problems that have a solution and that are not addressed by misinformation. Among them and possibly one of the most important and most transcendent in the lives of people is family violence.
The term Family Violence refers to the existence of abusive relationships between members of a family, in a chronic, permanent and periodic way. They are aggressive relationships in which, by action or omission, force and / or power is used to cause physical, sexual, financial and psychological harm to another family member. It is a social problem, due to its repercussions, affecting the areas of health, education, justice and morals; and likewise it feeds back on its erroneous treatment (Author: Lucía Coronado and Fernanda García Family Violence)
"A family never discusses, lies, it is convenient from time to time to fly a dish ... you have to know how to forgive yourself ... Father, a perfect family never discusses ... lies, it is convenient ... that from time to time they discuss ... and that a dish blows, it's okay ... do not be afraid of him. The only advice is that the day does not end without making peace ... because if they end up in war, the cold war dawns ... and the cold war in the family ... is undermining from below "(Pope Francis)
Communication is something much more personal, it is something much deeper than a simple dialogue, it is something that involves more the intimacy of two people that will lead them to know each other better; it is also part of the communication, the look, the smile, the gesture, the tone of the voice, the gestures that accompany the words since, through all these attitudes we can know everything that is thought, felt and done . Communication is the exchange of feelings, of longings, projects, it is a setting of goals and satisfactions, as well as the motivations and emotions of two people who have something in common.
"Forgiving will not change your past, but it will change your future" (Anonymous author)