Married men are happier!
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Por: Juan Luis Vázquez-Díaz Butler | Fuente: Religion in Freedom

Married men are happier!
The most intelligent and what magnifies us the most is to observe and let ourselves be enriched by the way our spouse acts and thinks.
By: Juan Luis Vázquez-Díaz Butler | Source: Religion in Freedom

The polls say that married men consider themselves much happier than divorcees or those who never married, who live an average of three years longer than those who decided to stay alone, and who also earn more money, are fatter, smokeless and consume less alcohol than single, widowed or divorced.

That is to say, married people live longer and better. And because? Because in their path they are accompanied by a woman-the same woman-each and every day of their lives.

This is the case of Vincent, married for almost 24 years with Mature. "I was then a Pipilo," he acknowledges, but little by little it was burning stages: the children arrived -four in six years- and it was introduced into working life until it reached a delicate moment five years ago: I was joined by seven crises of blow: the economic, the 40, the marital, the mother-in-law, the adolescent, my health and my aches, and the spiritual. The Titanic was sinking and everything fell on me. "
 
Men: go home

And of course, the crisis was installed inside his house. "We started living separately under the same roof," remembers Mature; I could not stand him, he cried often, he was in a bad mood. I lost the Vincent I married. It was a very hard time. " As it was, Vincent began to realize that "I was losing what I had fought for all my life. I understood that I am not Superman. I started to ask God for help and to stop thinking about myself. "

He hit bottom ... and it suited him. Both began to attend the marriage meetings of Mater Dei, and Vincent began to cultivate a dimension that had been left aside: "Tenderness, communication, affection, sweetness, being humble with my wife, recognizing my mistakes ..., things that today do not seem 'very manly'. And I also realized that the most important thing in my life is my wife, not my problems. Twenty years after I got married, I truly understood that God has made us one flesh. And we also noticed that in the sexual field, with many more demonstrations of physical affection and hugs than before. Today I am more man thanks to my wife. "

Thanks to his experience, Vincent now helps other men in crisis to find the path of true masculinity: "I tell my friends: 'Go back home.' To be a man is to have clear priorities, and the first thing for every man is his wife. "
 
Change little by little

If the first thing for Vincent is Matere, the first thing for Miguel is Miriam, his wife. After 18 years of marriage, many tests and two children in common, today Miguel can say that "I have returned home, to what my wife and I wanted to be when we decided to get married."

But the road has not been easy. After 10 years of living together, Miriam was diagnosed with a kidney disease that seriously threatened her life. "It took me a lot to adapt myself to that situation," Miguel admits, "because I had to take on a load at home that I was not used to. I used to do things my way, and suddenly my personal life changed and I had to give up my priorities to help her more and take more care of the house and the children.

All that upset me a lot. " Miriam remembers it this way: "I needed more of him because I was not one hundred percent, and that made us have many arguments. We are very distant. If it had not been for the Lord, I do not know where we would be. " The disease made things start to improve: in her weakness, Miriam began to pray more and to hold on to the Lord, and that was the trigger for her husband's conversion.

"Seeing how she prayed for me helped me a lot. I also endured with patience, he gave me his love. And that changed me little by little, "says Miguel.

A complete man

Strengthening their marriage made him bring out the best in himself and strengthen virtues such as strength, dedication, presence at home ... A pilgrimage to Medjugorje and retreats from Emmaus helped them in this process. And suddenly "our marriage was renewed, we began to see each other with new eyes and we fell in love again," says Miriam.

Now, she affirms that "the conversion, the encounter with God, the beginning to pray together every day, the more to talk with each other -of the day-to-day things and also of the important things-, and all the suffering we have spent together, they have made Miguel the man he is today. " And he confirms it by saying that today he sees himself as "a complete man because my wife has taken me out of myself. God has created Miriam for me, and today I am better because Miriam is with me. "
 
A harmony that gives happiness

Author of books Stolen masculinity or dethroned Fathers, teacher María Calvo Charro explains that "men and women have different ways of seeing life, different priorities, preferences, and motivations. We have different ways of acting in identical situations, and our ways of love are also different. "

But that, as demonstrated by the experience of Vincent and Matere, and Miguel and Miriam, far from being a handicap, is an opportunity to grow together: "Man has much to learn from the female acting style and vice versa. The most intelligent and what magnifies us the most is to observe and let ourselves be enriched by the way our spouse acts and thinks. Men and women are complementary and, if we are open to give space and are receptive, we will reach the vital balance that leads to happiness, "says Calvo.